Buzz·Posted on 22 Sept 201534 Tweets About Everyday Life That Are Sure To Make You Laugh"Sorry the ice melted in the drink I made for you but I thought you knew how to drink..."by Luke BaileyBuzzFeed Staff, UKLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail 1. Frank Whitehouse @WheelTod Still can't believe Facebook has been renewed for another season. I'm finding it really hard to care about any of the characters these days. 04:54 PM - 19 Jun 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. lanyard @lanyardigan You think you're pretty okay at doing stuff, and then you try to plug something into an outlet you're not looking directly at. 02:03 PM - 02 Mar 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. 4. ess bee fritz @RandomAntics I'm the avocado of people. While you wait and wait for me to mature enough to be enjoyable, I sneakily transition into a disgusting mess. 05:07 PM - 29 Aug 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. leon @leyawn aesop: you should be like the ant, he works every day me: what does the grasshopper do aesop: he just chills until he dies me: i want that 08:29 PM - 10 Sep 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. Bridget Alexa @TheWoodenslurpy Your secrets are safe with me because I literally won’t remember them. This also applies to your birthday. Your birthdays are safe with me. 05:26 PM - 17 Jul 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. Ali Garfinkel @aligarchy sorry i'm late, i have terrible time management skills and zero perception of distance as it pertains to speed of travel 08:11 PM - 16 May 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. 9. Boyd's Backyard @TheBoydP Sorry the ice melted in the drink I made for you but I thought you knew how to drink... 01:21 AM - 25 May 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. Nathan Usher @thenatewolf Mechanic: you need a new carburetor Me: you can call it a buretor, I know lots about cars, I'm like you 10:20 PM - 07 Sep 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. Sasshole @RidiculousSheri I'll only find porn realistic when the woman takes off her bra and some crumbs fall out. Maybe even a skittle or two. 09:17 PM - 23 Mar 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. Donna McCoy @Donna_McCoy Yours isn't the only text I'm ignoring. Settle down. 04:17 PM - 17 Mar 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. DaddyJew @DaddyJew If you give a man a fish he'll eat for a day but if you teach a kid how to make pop tarts your job as a parent is pretty much done 04:04 PM - 08 Oct 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. 15. Albro @bromanconsul finally figured out the reason I look so bad in photos!! its my face 07:04 PM - 27 Aug 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. Mmmkay? @missekay Sorry I used finger puppets and crayons to explain what condescending means to you. 09:14 PM - 02 Apr 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. Lindsay @Rollinintheseat Interviewer: "What did you like best about your last job?" Me: "Sometimes, people had birthdays and there was free cake." 03:58 PM - 11 Jun 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 18. Eldge @Sickayduh [First date] Her: I'm really glad you asked me out yesterday in the park Me: *looking under table* you didn't bring your dog? 02:34 AM - 11 Aug 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 19. 20. Marin Hubka @marinhubka [sifting through mail] baby shower invitation? Haha, um no thanks, Linda. I have a regular size shower that I can use whenever I want 06:48 PM - 29 Aug 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 21. Linda @turtledumplin Why do you look surprised in all your selfies? Didn't you know you were taking the picture? 04:37 PM - 03 Mar 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 22. Tyler Schmall @tylerschmall Great, iTunes terms and conditions has changed and my attorney is on vacation. Just perfect. 09:48 PM - 21 Aug 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 23. summerofbenny @summerofbenny Sat next to a cute family at church. The daughter yells, "Mom, I smell beer!" It' not beer, it's bourbon. Stupid little kid. Read a book. 02:08 PM - 14 Oct 2012 Reply Retweet Favorite 24. 25. bougie beth @bourgeoisalien Finally won an argument in my mind with a cashier that was mean to me 3 years ago. 01:38 PM - 11 Apr 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 26. Brianiac @BGH70 If they made taco flavored vodka I’d be dead in an hour. 12:53 AM - 05 Jan 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 27. Baked Potato @TrueTorontoGirl Just watched 3 people jogging outside and it has inspired me to get up and close the blinds. 12:53 PM - 11 Sep 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 28. Fun_Beard @Fun_Beard Cut the shit ladies: I've seen tons of tampon commercials and having your period looks like an absolute blast. 05:00 AM - 12 Aug 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 29. 30. Rad Kyle @KyleMcDowell86 *calls up pizza place* WHY WOULD YOU CUT MY PIZZA SO UNEVEN? IF YOU'RE TRYING TO TEAR MY FAMILY APART IT'S WORKING 02:57 AM - 06 Feb 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 31. sighentology @MarlonBrandNO JUDGE: You unplugged your grandmothers life support ME: [lips right on the mic] My phone had 1% your honor 03:22 PM - 22 Jul 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 32. Brian Gaar @briangaar FOUR STAGES OF LOSING MY KEYS 1. Can't find keys 2. Accuse everyone around me of taking my keys 3. Find keys 4. Apologize for key witchhunt 04:51 PM - 20 Aug 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 33. Underchilde @Underchilde Just looked up from my phone and realized I was sitting in a restaurant that closed in 2007. 08:35 PM - 27 Aug 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 34.