1. The eternal explosion of new 'cool' things will leave you with a continual, nagging FOMO.
2. And when there's something that actually is good, the queue will be unassailably huge.
3. Taking the tube is a hellish experience that somehow gets incrementally worse every single day.
4. And the terrifying lack of noise on the tube will unimaginably creep you out if you ever forget your headphones.
5. Except that the bus, with all its unreliability and irritation, is even worse.
6. Taking the night bus will either bore you with its tedium, or freak you out with its weirdness.
7. The process of flat-hunting will remove all joy from your life.
8. You'll somehow end up drinking even on nights you just wanted to go home.
9. And as a result, your diet is just anything you can find in your fridge at half past midnight.
10. The weekend is less a chance to do exciting things, and more chance to just do no things.
11. You'll give up on the idea of working an actual 9-5.
12. The concept of making emotional connections with new and interesting people is replaced by lonely right-swiping on Tinder.
13. You'll suddenly start to think that £3.90 for a beer is actually a really good price.
14. You eventually stop noticing when the streets smell of warm, fresh urine.
15. You start to think that this actually counts as being outside.
16. Paying rent that takes up most of your paycheck will be just a fact of life.
17. At some point, the concept of taking an Uber stops seeming like a dick-ish thing to do.
18. A good night's sleep is just any time you don't feel completely exhausted.
19. It's sometimes hard to remember that the rest of the country exists.
But somehow, no-one ever actually leaves.
