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28 Words That Have A Totally Different Meaning For People Who Work Shifts

Shift work will change how you look at the world.

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1. "Friends"

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Should mean: People you hang out with because you like them.

Now means: People you hang out with because they happen to be free at the same time as you.

2. "Significant other"

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Should mean: The person you share your life with.

Now means: The person who is also in your house but you never actually see.

3. "Splits"

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Should mean: Dividing something in half.

Now means: When your boss hates you, this is what they make you do.

4. "Bags"

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Should mean: Devices for carrying things in.

Now means: Permanent decorations under your eyes.

5. "Morning"

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Should mean: When you get up and go to work.

Now means: When you sleep.

6. "Lunchtime"

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Should mean: About 1pm.

Now means: 3.30pm, maybe, when you finally have a chance to get something. Or possibly at 9am. Depends on the day.

7. "Night"

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Should mean: When you are asleep.

Now means: When you are at work.

8. "Weekend"

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Should mean: Time off.

Now means: Time you spend working.

9. "Party"

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Should mean: Enjoyable social gathering where you see your friends.

Now means: Something you never actually make it to. Because work.

10. "Snack"

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Should mean: Something to eat occasionally when hungry.

Now means: Your main food group.

11. "Working week"

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Should mean: Five days of work.

Now means: Six days of work. At least.

12. "Day off"

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Should mean: What you get when you don't work.

Now means: What you almost definitely don't get.

13. "Routine"

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Should mean: The rhythm of work and relaxation that ensures you live a healthy life.

Now means: LOL, no.

14. "After-work drink"

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Should mean: What is socially acceptable at 6pm.

Now means: What you are heavily judged for at 6am. Not that you care.

15. "Daylight Saving"

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Should mean: An extra of sleep.

Now means: On the night shift, an extra hour of work.

16. "Local"

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Should mean: The pub around the corner you drink at because you like it.

Now means: The pub miles away you drink at because it's the only place open at weird times.

17. "Cover"

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Should mean: Something that lies on, or over, something else.

Now means: Something no one will ever do for you when you really need it.

18. "Social networking"

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Should mean: Occasional distraction.

Now means: Stream of the fun everyone else is having while you're at work.

19. "Schedule"

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Should mean: Reliable work structure to base your life on.

Now means: Ongoing chaos that will haunt your dreams and break your very soul.

20. "Family gathering"

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Should mean: What you go to in order to reconnect with your family.

Now means: What you hear about afterwards. Because work.

21. "Committing"

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Should mean: Agreeing to something in advance.

Now means: Something you'll do before realising your shifts just aren't going to work out.

22. "Tired"

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Should mean: When you haven't had enough sleep.

Now means: Perpetual state of being.

23. "Bank holiday"

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Should mean: Extra day off!

Now means: HAH. No. Back to work.

24. "Tuesday"

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Should mean: Tuesday.

Now means: Start of the weekend!

25. "Saturday"

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Should mean: Saturday.

Now means: Tuesday, probably.

26. "Sunday"

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Should mean: Sunday.

Now means: Monday, maybe, but who the fuck knows?

27. "Thursday"

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Should mean: Thursday.

Now means: The ancient Greek day hêméra Aphrodítês. SERIOUSLY, no idea at this point.

28. "Long week"

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Should mean: You've worked more than 40 hours this week.

Now means: You've been working for 13 days straight now.