19 Reasons Summer In The City Is Terrible And Wants To Hurt You
*Moves to Siberia.*
1. You will never stop sweating.
2. You'll never be able to tell if you have really bad hayfever or you're ill, ever.
3. The streets all smell like hot trash and stale urine.
4. And the sun is just always there.
5. Meaning you wake up at 5am for absolutely no reason for weeks on end.
6. Even when it's actually dark, it's way too hot to sleep.
7. You will never be comfortable in bed.
8. The sun really will personally victimise you, and will prove it by incinerating your skin, probably in an embarrassing pattern.
9. Everyone else is happy, so they expect YOU to be happy.
10. People suddenly becomes obsessed with 'activities,' and 'doing things.'
11. And being outside, where there's 'fresh air' and other such nonsense.
12. If you do go outside, nature just falls in your beer.
13. Going where there is a crowd is an exercise in masochism.
14. The allegedly fun idea of music festivals is flawed due to the inability to hear, y'know, THE MUSIC.
15. You hear many quiet buzzings, with the very real possibility an insect is coming to kill you.
16. Any bar that serves Pimms immediately cranks the price up.
17. Fun summer ideas that your friends have really aren't that fun.
18. Your 'summer wardrobe' is a hollow joke.
Nothing looks good, nothing is the right temperature.