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19 Reasons Summer In The City Is Terrible And Wants To Hurt You

*Moves to Siberia.*

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1. You will never stop sweating.

It will ooze all over your body like fried chicken grease. Only saltier.


10. People suddenly becomes obsessed with 'activities,' and 'doing things.'

11. And being outside, where there's 'fresh air' and other such nonsense.

13. Going where there is a crowd is an exercise in masochism.

Everything is sweat. Everyone is sweat. Sweat.

14. The allegedly fun idea of music festivals is flawed due to the inability to hear, y'know, THE MUSIC.

But tents are so fun! No, wait the other one. Terrible. Tents are terrible.


16. Any bar that serves Pimms immediately cranks the price up.

I don't even really like Pimms.

Though to be fair, you can eat ice lollies for breakfast.