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26 Hilarious Scottish Tweets That You Need To See

The best patter in the world.

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Got a couple of English uni pals that don't understand our patter and it's class

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Madness how North Face was invented for hikers n explorers, but all yi see nowadays is 14 year auld ket heads wearing it to explore the sesh

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you missed out on being paralytic in a field after downin strongbow at 13 for £500 ye fuckin soft ass

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Never understood how folk could be arsed to take violins to school everyday like if am honest a couldni be arsed to take masel most days

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Mams at it again proper not got the time

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Here talk aboot the school being skint ,Puttin icing on a hot dog roll and calling it a cake Ahahahahahaha

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Why do folk say they're skint when they've got £387.63 in the bank????? When a say am skint, a mean am fuckin skint. Zilch, zero, nada.

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HAHAHAHA "moving expressions" looks like it's gonna kick yer cunt in

10.

A guy in ma work has just said his profiterole eyesight is well good instead of peripheral hahaha fuckin dessert heed

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Aw ae that effort for a fuckin half bottle ae Glen's

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I've been laughing at this for days @Scottish_Tweets

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Never understood why acts at festivals shout ' are you ready' aye two seconds pal a needty tie my lace pause the tunes

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Kendall Jenner looking like she's just rattled a free kick in the top bag.

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Aye am fine Facebook that wis a close wan though eh

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I actually thought the cunt wis needin ma advise tee 😑 @_dylanduncan

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why are 13 year olds nowadays getting drunk and having sex when i was 13 i was injecting heroin and going to orgies, catch up fucking gimps.

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Lassie on my fb has just had a wain called Brian. Brian man fuck me hahah just oot the womb n hes a baldy taxi driver wi a Hibs tattoo

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Thts when u know ur attending a fried gaff

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Micks acc just pawned his mums wedding ring to go oot the night😂😂😂 £79 and hes chuffed wae himsel hahahaha

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