1.
Little Jorge is going to love this horse mask.
2.
Listen, if you're going to make me watch a sleeping baby, I'm going to find a way to make it interesting.
3.
In this house, we don't waste anything.
4.
But all joking aside, it's important to learn from your mistakes.
5.
It's fine! It builds immunity.
6.
"Stop crying! You're hurting the satanic doll's feelings."
7.
This is literally me talking to anybody:
8.
It says not recommended for children under the age of 3. Fortunately, I am WAY older than 3.
9.
It's hard enough to remember where your keys are.
10.
Sometimes you have to teach them life lessons the hard way.
11.
But sometimes it's not about life lessons. Sometimes it's just messing with them.
12.
"Nutrition is a fundamental need for newborn development."
13.
"Honey? Can you explain why the baby has a sticker on its head?"
14.
Like you don't have your own problems.
15.
Them: "Hey, why do you want to have kids? Have you always dreamed of having a family?" Me:
16.
Put little Jenny down at 9pm, and then make contact with the world of darkness by 9:30pm.
17.
Kids truly are the greatest treasure.
18.
"I can't wait to have kids."
