"Presidental Positions" Of The U.S. Pounding Fathers, Past And Present

In honor of Independence Day, here are some of the hottest positions imagined by this great nation's US Pounding Fathers, past and present.

1. Barack Obama presents “Yes We Cum!” (After his 2008 Campaign slogan, “Yes We Can”)

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This position starts by her straddling his ... election.

Sitting down facing each other, make yourselves comfortable, stare into each other's eyes like you’re about to start your own live debate. Thinking of the end goal, start to fire one another up with your own saucy campaign chants.

2. Bill Clinton presents “The Monica Lewinsky”

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Step away from the bed. Try moving your sexy time to somewhere less conventional; a piece of furniture, like a desk for example will do the trick.

Keep a cloth or tissue nearby to help clean up. Dry cleaning is expensive.

3. George W. Bush presents “Beat Around The...”

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Start by massaging and teasing each other until you can’t tease no more.

Celebrate the end of the running by finishing together, rejoicing like you’ve just found out you’ve won the Presidency after a long campaign. Ticker tape optional.

4. Dwight D. Eisenhower Presents the “PULSE II Risin’Tower”

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Need to practice those presidential waves? Then this is the position you’re after.

You’ll need an aide however to perfect this approach. Seen the latest collection of sex toys from Hot Octopuss? They allow for hands free pleasure by simply attaching to his Risin’Tower for both of you to enjoy.

5. George Washington Presents “The Wash While Getting It On”

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Why not try and introduce a little excitement to one’s shower or bath-time routine?

Alone, or with company, step into the tub and allow yourself the opportunity to get down and dirty while getting clean. Note: tepid temperature, removal of the rubber duck and a slip mat advised if possible.