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The 14 Best Passive-Aggressive Love Songs

Because nothing says I love you like reminding your partner of his shortcomings.

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"Your looks are laughable


Yet you're my favorite work of art"


"I don't want clever conversation

I never want to work that hard

I just want someone that I can talk to

I want you just the way you are"

"He can't play golf or tennis or polo

Or sing a solo, or row

He isn't half as handsome

As dozens of men that I know

He isn't tall or straight or slim

And he dresses far worse than Ted or Jim

And I can't explain why he should be

Just the one, one man in the world for me"


"Lip balm on watery clay

Relationships, hey, hey, hey

You kiss like a rock

But you know I need it anyway"

"My baby, he don't talk sweet

He ain't got much to say

But he loves me, loves me, loves me

I know that he loves me anyway"


"It's a quarter after one

I'm a little drunk

And I need you now

Said I wouldn't call

But I've lost all control

And I need you now"

"He ain't no sheik, that's no great physique

Lord knows, he ain't got the smarts

But look at that soul, I tell you that whole

Is a whole lot greater than the sum of his parts

And if you knew him like me

I know you'd agree"


"No muscle bound man

Could take my hand from my guy

No handsome face

Could ever take the place of my guy

He may not be a movie star

But when it comes to being happy we are"

"I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape

You never want to know how much you weigh

You still have to squeeze into your jeans

But you're perfect to me "


"U don't have 2 be beautiful

2 turn me on"

"So you're scared and you're thinking

That maybe we ain't that young anymore

Show a little faith there's magic in the night

You ain't a beauty, but hey, you're all right

Oh, and that's all right with me"


"Lots of people in this world

But I wanna be your boy

To me that thought, it sounds so absurd

And I don't wanna be your toy

Cuz you're pretty good looking for a girl"

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"Sweetheart, lover, could I recover?

Give up the joys I have known?

Not to fetch your pills again every day at five

Not to give those dinners for ten elderly men from the U.N.

How could I survive?"


"Fill another cup up, feelin' on your butt what

You don't even care now, I was unaware

How fine you was before

My buzz set in, my buzz set in"