1.
He's judgmental. Like, all the time.
2.
And condescending about the nerdiest things.
3.
He whines about EVERYTHING.
4.
I mean, he takes melodrama to a new level.
5.
And bums everyone else out in the process.
6.
He even bums himself out.
7.
He truly believes the world is out to get him. Don't you hate people like that?
8.
This is how he reacted to spilling shampoo, by the way.
9.
Maybe you're not a good person, Ross. You ever think about THAT?
11.
He's a grown man who won't stop talking about dinosaurs.
12.
And yet, he tells OTHER people to grow up.
13.
Also he calls his mother "Mommy." Gross.
14.
His irrational jealousy makes him a total pain in the ass to date.
15.
He's a real dick to anyone else who dates Rachel.
16.
Because he REFUSES to move on.
17.
Speaking of, he said THE WRONG NAME at his wedding.
18.
Probably because he's, like, always getting married.
19.
And when other people are getting married, he makes it about him. Shocking.
20.
He tries to be one of those fun professors. The worst.
21.
He's just terrible at having fun in general.
22.
He also sucks at being sexy.
24.
And comforting people. What is this shit?
25.
He has anger management issues.
26.
He basically ruins costume parties.
27.
He had a monkey, which was cool. But then he got rid of it. Whatever.
28.
He's not nearly as funny as he thinks he is.
29.
Meanwhile, he can't take a joke.
30.
It's like, calm down.
31.
He's just NOT self-aware. At all.
32.
THIS IS HOW HE SHOWS UP AT YOUR DOOR. What the hell.
34.
And AWKWARD. So awkward.
35.
Worst of all, you can't answer this question truthfully. Because he'll cry.