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Posted on Jan 31, 2015

What Happens When You Have But Still Don't Have "Mother"

We’ve all read many wonderful things about mothers and their care and affection towards her own family and children. Well, now, welcome to the dark side. The place where unconditional love is replaced by narcissism and jealousy. It happens everywhere in the world. This post is not about step mom’s or for those who think they hate their mother just because she didn’t give in your tantrum or didn’t allow doing something you wanted to do. These are regarding those birth mothers who literally hate their own child. This is shedding some light in those places where you usually don’t look.

by loststars

Community Contributor

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What Happens When You Have But Still Don't Have "Mother"

Growing up there is this constant disturbance in the house and you think “may be its like this in every house. Maybe it is normal”

After a while you observe that may be she is manipulating you by telling stories against any person you remotely like/love

You also think “May be she is just sick”

At some point you realize she was literally manipulating you just because you are still naive to believe her and because, you know, “she is the MOTHER”. And you don’t know whether you father is the one that you know or the one she talked about.

And you can’t yet talk to father about this because you would feel that your mother is a liar and god know what happens if you call your mother a liar

This throws you into a turmoil coz you confuse on which parent to trust..

Then you pick up courage and rely on your instinct to talk to you father only to find out she is much worse in being wife than being a mother.

Sometime during all this, you observe that your family members act soooo distant with you many times

That’s because unconsciously when they look at you they sees her in you.

You try to get help from father, but all he says “I am doing the best I can” (sometimes true translation: why do you keep nagging)

Sometimes It’s even worse to see that your father is letting her play him.

You try sharing with your “friends” but most of them take advantage in your vulnerability.

Even the ones who don’t take advantage, they judge, coz when they meet the mother; she behaves like every normal person would.

Some even go to an extent with their hey-you-have-own-room-and-computer-i-have-to-share-one-i-am-so-depressed.

Your education is always affected no matter how hard you try.

And when you talk about this people say “it’s just an excuse you are using for not trying hard enough”.

You realize its fucked up. Without you doing anything to fuck it up

Introverts won’t complain coz they avoid interaction.

And if extroverts do they judge by saying “you are too needy”

After a while, you understand what your life was until a point and then you learn motivate yourself because no one else does and suicide is not an option.

So for all the kids, teens, adults who are and have been suffering from these kind of so called “mother’s”, stop blaming yourself for her not loving you back even when you did because there are woman in this world who cannot love back.

If you get emotional support and understand your situation, good...

Let them know you need them more than they need you

If you aint, then it’s not the end. Self motivating, talk therapy etc., might help. But you have to reach out.

But life is unpredictable. So no matter how emotionally strong you get or how much you put it into the past, it all comes crashing at some point.

So it will helpful for you if you learn the signs and symptoms on your feelings and emotions

Try to train yourself to come over it. It might take a day or week. But you know it’ll work if you work it.

We may or may not be living in the worse conditions but there are people who are in unimaginable positions. A prayer for their strength.

You won’t be finding us licking our wounds. We may be your bestie or favorite co-worker or someone who was kind and nice to you.

In the end, we are also just a type of humans who are living our lives among the rest.

What Happens When You Have But Still Don't Have "Mother"

Growing up there is this constant disturbance in the house and you think “may be its like this in every house. Maybe it is normal”

After a while you observe that may be she is manipulating you by telling stories against any person you remotely like/love

You also think “May be she is just sick”

At some point you realize she was literally manipulating you just because you are still naive to believe her and because, you know, “she is the MOTHER”. And you don’t know whether you father is the one that you know or the one she talked about.

And you can’t yet talk to father about this because you would feel that your mother is a liar and god know what happens if you call your mother a liar

This throws you into a turmoil coz you confuse on which parent to trust..

Then you pick up courage and rely on your instinct to talk to you father only to find out she is much worse in being wife than being a mother.

Sometime during all this, you observe that your family members act soooo distant with you many times

That’s because unconsciously when they look at you they sees her in you.

You try to get help from father, but all he says “I am doing the best I can” (sometimes true translation: why do you keep nagging)

Sometimes It’s even worse to see that your father is letting her play him.

You try sharing with your “friends” but most of them take advantage in your vulnerability.

Even the ones who don’t take advantage, they judge, coz when they meet the mother; she behaves like every normal person would.

Some even go to an extent with their hey-you-have-own-room-and-computer-i-have-to-share-one-i-am-so-depressed.

Your education is always affected no matter how hard you try.

And when you talk about this people say “it’s just an excuse you are using for not trying hard enough”.

You realize its fucked up. Without you doing anything to fuck it up

Introverts won’t complain coz they avoid interaction.

And if extroverts do they judge by saying “you are too needy”

After a while, you understand what your life was until a point and then you learn motivate yourself because no one else does and suicide is not an option.

So for all the kids, teens, adults who are and have been suffering from these kind of so called “mother’s”, stop blaming yourself for her not loving you back even when you did because there are woman in this world who cannot love back.

If you get emotional support and understand your situation, good...

Let them know you need them more than they need you

If you aint, then it’s not the end. Self motivating, talk therapy etc., might help. But you have to reach out.

But life is unpredictable. So no matter how emotionally strong you get or how much you put it into the past, it all comes crashing at some point.

So it will helpful for you if you learn the signs and symptoms on your feelings and emotions

Try to train yourself to come over it. It might take a day or week. But you know it’ll work if you work it.

We may or may not be living in the worse conditions but there are people who are in unimaginable positions. A prayer for their strength.

You won’t be finding us licking our wounds. We may be your bestie or favorite co-worker or someone who was kind and nice to you.

In the end, we are also just a type of humans who are living our lives among the rest.

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