1.Don't wear makeup that looks like you are actually wearing makeup. Men think they don't like makeup but they actually do — go for a super-natural look.
2.Never get too emotional about anything.
3.Watch all sports. Don't forget to yell at the screen and throw beers. He'll find your passion super sexy.
4.Drink whiskey on the rocks. Then take it one step further by soaking your tampon in Macallan 30 before inserting it.
5.Be able to quote. every. single. word. from The Big Lebowski. But don't stop there, also make puppets of the characters and perform a show of it every night before bed.
6.Play sports...naked. Playing sports will confuse him because you're a girl, so being naked will remind him that you're still feminine because your breasts will be out.
7.Wrestle with his giant dog. It doesn't matter if you were bit by a dog when you were little and now have an intense fear of dogs — get on the ground and roll around with that Doberman.
8.Have a non-intimidating job, like owner of a cotton candy cart that serves only teeny-tiny cotton candies to mice.
9.Don't turn him on by just ordering a burger — bring a live cow to the restaurant and slaughter it at the table.
10.Most important, be able to "hang with the guys." You may have heard this expression before, and thought it means to hang out. What it really means is to literally HANG with the guys. Wear a strap-on so you can swing your dick around like them.
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