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9 Genius Sex Moves To Try On Your Man This Fall

He'll be falling all over himself, literally.

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2. The "Extra Spicy Pumpkin Latte."

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Warm your mouth with some pumpkin-flavored coffee before going south *wink wink*. To add even more spice, let a little dribble out of the corners of your mouth first; the visual of dripping liquid is VERY sexy.

5. The "Thanks-for-giving."

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Give your man a special Thanksgiving treat with this classic move: During sex, suddenly yell, "I'M A DEAD FALL TREE," then stay very still for the remainder, letting him do all the work. Afterward, simply whisper, "Thanks...for giving."

7. The "Leaf Pile."

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Rake up some dirty leaves from your yard and pile them onto his bed. Hide in it nakie until he's nearby, then jump out and yell, "I'M FALLING FOR YOU!" He'll be so turned on he might faint. Extra points if you bring some squirrels in with you.

8. The "Candied Apple."

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Using your favorite candy apple recipe, heat up some burning hot caramel on the stove. Act like you're about to pour it on his butt, then quickly pull out some apples and say, "JK JK JK JK." But then pour it on his butt.

9. The "Sexy Foliage."

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Go hide in the woods for the next few months, only communicating by leaving him ominous voicemails of forest animals chattering. Eventually lose contact with him and everything you knew before. Become a forest enchantress. This is your life now. Fuck society.

*This article is for entertainment purposes only. Please don't pour burning caramel on your loved ones.