"Oh look, my 'you're getting your period' welcome zit has arrived."
"I just saw a cute baby and I'm ovulating. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME."
"I love you, and I want to hang out tonight, but I can't because I just got my period and I want to be alone watching Netflix for the next 48 hours. K, bye."
"I just sneezed and my tampon came out a little. Halp."
"PMSing and I just started to cry at work and am trying to pretend everything's OK."
"I'm ovulating and I just saw a hot guy with a beard. Yes. Please."
"I'm on my period but am still down to get down tonight if you are."
"PMSing and just ate a block of cheese for dinner."
"Do I really have to poop or are those just cramps?"
"I'm PMSing and just spent all my money on froyo."
"The moon blood is upon us."