1. Habitually-hanging hipster (HHH)
With monotone speech liberally peppered with "man", "sweet" and "brother" (not in a fraternal sense), the HHH, once found at any relatively cheap, 'cool' eatery, is now grounded in your local vegan cafe/providore. The HHH's mouth is permanently affixed to a longneck, with traces of chia pudding on his manscaped facial hair. While his artfully tattered general pants attire is suggestive of a predilection for surfing, the HHH does not surf, nor does he even enter the water. You see, that would take effort, and thus compromise the HHH's ultra louche, stoner-like disposition.
2. Designer mum (DM)
The designer mum cruises around in her designer jersey basics with her designer pram and her designer breasts. A preference for organic (read: overpriced) and raw (read: weightloss-focused) produce sees the DM frequent the multitude of bakeries, cafes and such that have been specifically established to cater for the stupidly expensive appetites of the DM's. This also allows the DM the opportunity to befriend the local HHH barista, whom she can eye-rape all day long, having nothing better to do, while her wrinkled billionaire of a husband wheels, deals, and probably bangs his assistant.
3. Fully sik kru
The kru get around either in offensively loud and souped-up vehicles, or when choosing to be bipedal, by swaggering. Almost always clad in too-small shirts with an ample amount of shaved chest on display, kru members tend to linger around clusters of glamourai, hoping to score some when the ten or so bubblys have kicked in. When not preying on their usual victims, the kru shamelessly eyeball GMs, who are in turn eyeballing HHHs (eyeballing-chain). The kru are befuddled by the seemingly unattractive HHHs, and thus have no idea how they manage to pull so many chiks.
4. Foolish foreigners (FF)
Immediately obvious due to their utter lack of fashion sense, the cargo-shorts wearing FFs just wanna have fun in the sun. Ruddy-faced and generally inebriated on the cheapest plonk available, the FF is a relatively harmless species that keeps to itself, that is, until nightfall. Come the wee hours of the morning, the FF can turn into a dangerous predator after one rum 'n' coke too many. You will learn of such occurrences by glimpsing the first few pages of the Wentworth Courier, or simply by observing the battle scars on many a FF's oddly-shaped face.
5. Glamourai
Spray tan and peroxide outweigh brain cells in the glamourai crew. With one faux-nailed hand permanently affixed to a smartphone and the other clutching a tepid glass of bubbly, the glamourai graze in packs. Sustained by cigarettes, mindless gossip, and glamour models posing as 'fitspo' icons on instagram, a glamourai is permanently on the hunt for a man, ideally, someone like the typical DM's husband. Whilst a DM-husband type might entertain the idea of rolling around with a glamourai, sadly, the only real relationship prospect a glamourai has is with a member of the fully sik crew.
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