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Find out whose autograph you should ask for first after the Slateport Spindas win the Doubles Premiere League.

Which Slateport Spinda Member Are You?

Abandoned as a baby on the frozen streets of New York, you were raised in a dumpster by a hairy man who only wore plaid with jean shorts. Therefore, you grew up brave, resourceful, proud, and great at cuddling. Your Pokemon skills reach maximum intellect, but you are unable to predict how stupid people move, so you often lose. That is okay, though, because you can always go home and cuddle with Zaddy.

Lolk

Raised by a bitter samurai with no hands, you grew up with stone-cold discipline. 90% of the female population of your village joined the convent after catching eye-sight with the man who has walked the bridge from hell to heaven. Luckily, hallucinogens exist, allowing you to remain calm and obscure in internet chatrooms. No one will ever realize how many naked nuns you have in your bed, watching over your shoulder while you sweep with Manaphy.

xzern

Wow, congratulations! You have two loving parents and a nice family. Considering you live on a competitive Pokemon website, this a rare occurrence! Enjoy battling with friends, having lots of laughs, and missing 1 out of every 10 attacks you make. Who knows? Maybe you will find a normal person who actually loves you (and not for your parents' money), or maybe you will just snap and blow up a Whole Foods. Luckily, Pokemon will distract you long enough for neither result to happen.

AuraRayquaza

Your white father and black mother were shocked when you came out an Asian baby. Your friends were shocked when you survived being trapped in an operating microwave for 45 seconds. Your perverted neighbors were shocked when they looked into your bedroom and saw emojis and kanji tattooed all over your body. You opponents were shocked that every Hydro Pump missed your Pokemon. All you could do was smile and wait for THE SIGNAL.

finally

You were born at the end of the Ghostbusters movie when you fell out of that giant marshmallow man's ass. You are both sweet and unhealthy to everyone around you. But we are 'Muricans, and we like it anyways. You don't fuck with a man that wears flip-flops in twelve inches of snow.

Flame Road

You are kind. You are creative. You are passionate. You accept life with open arms and realize all of its potential. But all of that means nothing because you read the DOU Viability Rankings. What's the point of even trying to look cool when you use the .3. face?

GiraGoomy

Most people think that you are a cool person because you go with the flow. But, you lose friends quickly when people realize you eat pizza with a fork and a knife. You don't care, however, because your hands are always clean enough to smack an ass when you need a thrill.

Haruno

You were raised on a farm outside of Portland with strict vegan parents. You find joy in demeaning animal killers, so you tend to pour barbecue sauce all over everyone's pets. Unfortunately, your parents raised to be a radical, not educated, and you never noticed the connection between Pokemon and dog-fighting. You are probably, wearing a turtleneck sweater right now.

makiri

You like to hug everyone you see, because that's the most efficient way to wipe your boogers off your finger. You need a clean hand to dominate a Pokemon battle, and you need a cleaner body when you send your nudes to the parents of every players you beat on Smogon. No one tells you right-from-wrong, because you live to define the rules.

-Tsunami-

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Which Slateport Spinda Member Are You?

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