1. They're brooders. They sit around and BROOD.
2. They have dark secrets. Secrets they can't tell NOBODY, including their significant others.
3. They fall in love, which leads to a lot of unnecessary angst and self-loathing.
4. And aside from their love lives, they don't have much else going on...
5. Yet, their girlfriends only see them through rose-colored glasses. Not that it matters.
6. They're both super protective. So they break up with their girlfriends...to protect them from all their broody secrets.
And they PEACE OUT without giving an explanation! Which leaves their GFs like this:
7. And then, instead of giving their ladies space and time to get over it, they STALK them.
8. But, hey, it's all good: they both come back to town and all is forgiven. Eventually.
9. They both refuse to have sex before marriage. Or do anything beyond a quick kiss and awkward eye contact...
10. They're also about 100 years older than their significant others. Respectively.
11. They like to play the martyr.
12. They're ugly criers.
13. Did I mention brooding?
14. Also staring.
So yeah. Enjoy, ladies.
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