I Watch TV, So You Don’t Have To: Love & Hip Hop, New York: "Regrets Only” (S5, EP 10)

I feel like the last three episodes have been stagnant.

If you're reading this, congrats! You've officially made it halfway through season five of "Love & Hip Hop"

Episode nine: "Call Your Bluff"

Episode eight: "Worlds Collide"

Episode seven: "Mama Drama"

Episode six: "Exes and Ohs"

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Old Habits Die Hard

Jhonni and Rich Dollaz are at it again, they're dipping. I think at one point they were talking about the fight again, next thing you know Jhonni is rubbing her foot on Rich's leg and the two slide off to the bathroom to catch up on some quality time.

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"How are you as my side wife, going to tell Tara about my side chicks?" - Peter's inner thoughts.

I'm Going To Do Me

Peter is mad that his wife dropped the dime on him to Tara, So because of this, he packed a back to leave Amina because he "needs his space." It's the same Telemundo soap opera with these two. Peter yells, Amina yells, Amina cries, Peter apologize. Amina was apologetic for snitching on him faster than Aaron Hernandez's fiancé and said that if Peter leaves the house for some space, she along with the baby are going to Germany to see her family. He said if she chooses to get on that plane, he wants a divorce, then he left the house. Where did he go? Tara's house? Another woman's house? Did Mona pay for him to have a room at the Hojo (Howard Johnson)?

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Anyway, after his meeting with Cisco and Rich, he realized the error in his ways, so he popped up during one of Amina's shows. Amina makes music that you cry in the dark and drink cheap liquor to while listening, but that's not what we're talking about, is it? He said he made a mistake with the things that he said and he wants his family. Amina smartened up and said which one, the one with her or Tara? He told her, so she asked did he tell Tara that their love is real and she's the one he wants to be with. Peter said no, he doesn't feel comfortable with telling her that. Amina said she doesn't feel comfortable with trying to work things out and she's going to Germany with the baby in tow. Peter is pissed, but is he willing to change?

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When your granddad is doing life in jail and your grandma sends him some sexy pics.

No Ringy, No Dingy

Chrissy the Madam is fed up with Chink Santana again. After signing a contract saying that he would file for legal separation and going on a romantic getaway in Connecticut, Chink has done nothing he promised Chrissy and she is at her wit's end. Since he wants to play with her heart, she decided to do a provocative photo shoot with a men's magazine. I… Okay, auntie.

The Desperation For Screen Time Is Real

Diamond Strawberry is desperate to be back with Cisco for whatever reason. So she met up with Rich Dollaz to get an ally in the quest to get Cisco back. She wrote a five page letter for Rich to give to him to remind him of the good times. Beloved, I can tell you from experience that this isn't going to work. When I was 21, my ex and I broke up and I had no way to get in contact with him, so I wrote that we could work it out. I gave the letter to a mutual friend, and he never gave it to my ex. A few months later this same friend asked me out.

Enough about me. Rich gave Cisco the letter and Cisco wasn't interested in reading at all. In fact, he now has his eye on Cyn Santana. *Slams hand on the table* NO! NOT ON MY WATCH!

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Amina: "Your dress is pretty!"

Tara: "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY IN YOUR PART IN BREAKING UP ME AND PETER!"

Hurt People Hurt People

Tara, in the words of the famous kids' movie "Frozen", LET IT GOOOOOOO, LET IT GOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I'm so sick of Tara week after week, having her "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" soliloquy. Now her ranting is at the point where she just wants Amina to feel the hurt and betrayal that she felt when she first found out about Peter and Amina. Tara, this is not the way you handle karma. If karma is something that you believe in, then you know what goes around comes back around. You can't deal with the karma forcefully, you can't force bad karma on someone because you want them to feel what you felt. It doesn't work that way, it's a natural process. Amina asked about the last time Tara and Peter were involved with each other sexually, and Tara said around the time she became pregnant. "Peter left me with two kids, what do you think he's going to do to you?" See, that's Tara trying to make Amina hurt because she feels like Amina didn't take responsibility in her role in breaking up Tara and Peter. I'm tired. I don't even blame Amina for running off to Germany.

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Erica Mena And Bow Wow Are Engaged

This is the part that you all have been waiting for.

Erica's mom and son are in town from Miami. First, before we get started, let me say I fully understand why Erica doesn't want to raise her son in New York City and it does make better sense for her son to be in Miami since his father (Raul from the Terror Squad) lives in Miami. Judging from both of their Instagram accounts he's a smart kid, so I'm not judging Mena's parenting skills.

Apparently for Erica's 9th birthday, Erica;s mom took her to the circus to see Bow Wow preform (the joke writes itself.) and now here she is telling her mom that the two are getting married. She said he proposed during a birthday party they went to during the BET Hip-Hop Awards weekend and she's happy, but nervous about breaking the news to her son, King because she has kept all her relationships from him. (Well, there was that one birthday when Cyn flew King in to see Erica for her birthday, but I'm sure he just thought that was mommy's friend)

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She took King to the Zoo in Jersey to tell him the exciting news, and just like any other kid when you tell them you're marrying someone that's not their father, he felt "weird out" about the news. He seemed to cheer up a bit once he found out that he'll big a big brother (Bow Wow has a three-year-old daughter) and once Erica explained that Bow Wow isn't replacing anyone, but expanding their family, he seemed to be happy about it.

Mendeecees Pulls The Ultimate No-No

We found out that Yandy's pregnancy hasn't been easy going this go round. Her blood pressure at a routine doctor's visit was "deadly" high and she was put on mandatory bed rest. That didn't stop her from working, she was still working - just in the bed and wanted Mendeecees to keep the house in order while she worked.

Later we saw Yandy rushing out of one of her events because her assistant got a call from Mendeecees saying that their son was in the hospital, come to find out he wasn't in the hospital at all. Yandy showed up to the studio livid (with reason). Mendeecees said he was upset because Yandy left her son at school for him to pick up (the school had to call Mendeecees), so he called to "ruffle" her feathers with the lie about him being in the hospital. Then she became more pissed off when Mendeecees said that the son was in the studio, Yandy doesn't want him there because people were smoking.

"The studio" the cause of 88% of fights on this show.

Yandy admitted that she was wrong for being unreachable, but she was taken aback when Mendeecees talked about all the things he does for his children. Simple basic things like getting them ready for school, make them breakfast, and basic shit a parent is supposed to do. Mendeeceees was spazzing like Yandy wasn't doing that by herself for the last year and a half BY HERSELF while he was in jail. Mendeecees annoyed me with this, he lost so many points off that.

A Few Things

1.Keep Cisco away from Cyn

2.Diamond is going to smash the homie (Rich).

3.If I don't get two tickets to this reunion, I'm going to be pissed.