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40 Responses To Catcalling That You Should Put Into Action Immediately

HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT...

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1. Your Mum's chest hair! (Thanks Mean Girls)

2. If you can't bring Alan Rickman back then you've got nothing for me! *cries hysterically* (I actually emotionally shouted this at someone when they catcalled me in Morocco just after I found out the news of Alan Rickman dying)

3. You ain't got enough camels!

4. Burst into interpretive dancing

5. Do your best Gollum impression

6. Pull out a table and chair set and proceed to tell them about everything that has upset you in the past 5 years

7. If you don't have a table and chair set to hand then still tell them about everything that has upset you in the past 5 years

8. Do your best De Niro "You talkin' to me?!"

9. Start running around and celebrate like you're a footballer who has just scored a goal

10. Give your best Miss Universe 'what I want to change in the World' speech just so that they know just how much of a good person you are!

11. Immediately High 5 everyone around you

12. Whisper "Her hair is full of secrets" and point at the nearest Lady to you. Demonstrate by picking at her hair and revealing the secrets that you find

13. Read them a diary extract and ask them to channel your diary and answer on its behalf

14. Scream "I told you someone would want me Mum" followed by laughing manically

15. Immediately get down on one knee and ask for their hand in marriage.

16. Mimic everything they say

17. If that doesn't do the trick on it's own then begin to mirror their body language too

18. Catch them in a lasso & drag them towards you while repeating "I've got you now" over and over again

19. Pull out your trusty sock puppet and ask it if it thinks you guys would make a good couple

20. If you don't have a sock puppet on you then you can do this to thin air and make out you have an imaginary friend

21. Ugly cry!

22. Run up to them, tap them on the shoulder and enthusiastically shout "Tag, you're it". Refuse to leave them alone until they join in

23. Ask them to repeat the Lord's Prayer line after line

24. Whisper "I always knew it would be you" before sniffing them

25. Lie down and ask them to paint you like one of their French girls

26. Ask Emma Watson to use up the last of her Floo powder to come and give them a lecture on Feminism

27. Pick a flower and play 'he loves me, he loves me not' with the petals

28. If the result is 'he loves me not' then cry hysterically and choke out "I knew it"

29. If the result is 'he loves me' then scream "Liar!!!!!" And throw the stem in their face

30. Sing a love song. Preferably a little Celine Dion or Mariah Carey

31. Take a selfie with him and say "I'll show them, I'll show them all" as you proceed to writing a Facebook status

32. Rub your head against their shoulder and purr

33. FaceTime absolutely anyone to show them your new boyfriend

34. Ask them why they're so late and tell them their top secret mission

35. Dance in circles around them and then say "My eggs are ready for you now…" Before giving him the most meaningful look you've ever given anyone in your entire life

36. Tell them that you're not who they think you are before ripping off your mask to reveal another face like the villain does at the end of a Scooby Doo episode

37. Repeat everything they say in Parseltongue … (This ones for diehard Harry Potter fans)

38. Take out your heart and give it to them.

39. Make them speak to your imaginary friend

40. Play Beyoncé, 'If you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it'. Proceed to pointing at your finger and winking suggestively.

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