1. Go in further. Further. The door is closing on my ass as I type this.
2. Just hold the pole. I know it's dirty but everyone else got over it the first time they fell onto a stranger's lap and got stabbed.
3. This person standing next to me is basically getting to third base due to hand placement.
4. Ehhh. Whatever. #YOLO.
5. I am so close to you I can read the email you're typing.
6. You spelled your like you're. Should I say something?
7. You smell like that one time a rabbit died in the garage in July and we couldn't find it for a few days.
8. Oh, my bad. That's just the homeless guy sleeping against the door.
9. Check out that ad for period underwear! Wonder if it works.
10. Oh. Did I miss my stop?
11. Should I get off here? Where am I? Is this a good stop or one of those eerie, empty ones? Wait, why aren't we stopping?
12. Did this train turn express?
13. I'll check Google Maps.
14. Never mind! Bye bye, cell service.
15. We're stopping. We're stopping. I can get off the train.
16. We're stopped!
17. We're underground with the rats! WE STUCKKK!!!!
18. Wouldn't it be fun being locked underground for hours with no cell service and these constipated-looking people?
19. Those French tourists are so cute. Look at them. Awww.
20. I'll ask someone where we are.
21. Oh, they don't speak English. Okay, I'll ask these people.
22. Hmm. Nevermind. No English. Just me. Only American. No biggie.
23. Wont panic.
24. Not panicking.
25. I should text my coworker and tell her I'll be late?
26. I feel like since I moved to NYC I am always late. I used to be that person early to everything! What happened to me, what happened to my life, who am I? What is my purpose here? What if I die without accomplishing anything--
27. HOLY )_@!(*&^
28. Well. Train's moving.
29. Good.
30. This is positive. Close your eyes. *You're at the beach, you're at the bea--
31. Is that a rat on my foot?
32. No, just the bottom of that homeless man's blanket.
33. *Still at the beach. Still at the beach.*
34. A real stop. Okay. Just get off the subway--
35. I think that man just nestled my butt.
36. Okay, pushing, pushing--
37. Out. Freedom. It is uncomfortably warm and smells like human waste.
38. No clue where I am.
39. Whatever, I'm taking a Via.
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