• Add Yours badge

Tell Us The Moment You Realized You Got A "Shut Up" Ring

What were the signs you wish you knew before?

Relationships can be complicated, and it can be heartbreaking when the person you're with doesn't want the same things as you do. So, for a while now, the internet has gotten into quite a bit of talk about "shut up" rings. If you don't already know what the term means, it refers to someone proposing just to appease their partner — but in reality, they don't actually want the commitment.

someone in shock after getting proposed to

So, if you found out you received a "shut up" ring and your partner didn't actually want to get married, what were the signs you've now noticed looking back?

ring box open

Like, maybe you were with your partner for years, and you knew you wanted to marry them, but they would avoid conversations about commitment; even after they eventually proposed, they kept stalling and postponed moving forward, so you broke it off.

Perhaps your partner actually revealed that they never wanted to get married, but you gave an ultimatum to get married or break up, so a proposal came. But later on, even though you cared for each other, you came to terms with the fact that you both simply wanted different things for the future.

half of a wedding cake

Maybe you went ahead with the wedding, and your partner wasn't taking the day seriously — like purposely giving embarrassing vows in front of everyone — and it made you realize that they were resentful and didn't want to be there.

Or perhaps months into your new marriage, you noticed your partner refused to make an effort in the relationship, and despite your attempts to fix things, it became clear that they didn't want the relationship.

person looking out the window

If you feel comfortable sharing your story and what you learned, in the comments below, tell us the signs you noticed that you got a "shut up" ring — and what happened to your relationship after. Or, if you prefer to remain anonymous, feel free to use this Google form. Your response could be featured in an upcoming BuzzFeed Community post.