The other day, Reddit user Kyto_j asked the men of Reddit, "What's one thing you hate about being a dude?" They spoke about struggles that ranged from lighthearted to serious — and some even gave perspectives you don't always hear.
Here are some of the top-voted responses:
1. "The mental health of men isn't taken seriously."
2. "Never received a compliment in my life, except the time a girl told me she liked my boots in eighth grade."
"I appreciate it still."
3. "Honestly, so few people care about how I'm feeling."
"They ask how I'm doing, and they wanna hear about all of the stuff that I'm actively doing — but they don't wanna hear that I'm dealing with some emotional stuff."
4. "I'm a stay-at-home dad. I don't know how to put it simply or what the right term is, but I have been semi-frequently harassed, berated, and otherwise made to look foolish or feel ashamed because I'm a man who loves his babies."
5. "Not feeling comfortable talking about my feelings."
6. "Being expected to always do the first move. I’d love to be asked to go out on a date just once."
7. "Balding. I hate it."
8. "I’m very, very emotionally sensitive, and people laugh at me for it."
9. "Being told that men should express emotions, but when we do, it must be only for certain situations, shown in a certain way, for a certain time, or you're not a 'man.'"
10. "The expectations that come with it (both men and women have them)."
"Society expects me to work my ass off to support a family even if it’s at the expense of my own well-being. I’m expected to like sports, cars, guns, and beer. I’m expected to not be emotionally vulnerable or sensitive. Even from other men, I’m expected to be some sex-crazed animal that can’t help but make perverted remarks about/at any woman in view. And when you’re not these things, most people don’t know what to do with you. I’ve found my people who do enjoy me for who I am, but these are all things I’ve experienced and still experience pretty frequently."
11. "The need to be tall as other men."
12. "Trying unsuccessfully to be buff. I'm self-conscious that I'm kinda skinny and not very muscular."
13. "Not having been equipped with the tools to be emotionally self-understanding."
14. "Men's fashion is pretty lame compared to women's."
15. "Society's concept of what a man should be and be able to do."
"I'm from the South where, apparently, it's incredibly important to be a big, strong, burly man who has tons of trade skills; anything less, and people look down on you and judge you. It's created a horrible self-image for myself that I struggle with almost daily."
16. "Unrealistic expectations because guys are supposed to 'have it all figured out' — feeling like you're falling behind or not measuring up to where you're 'supposed to be.'"
"Like, I know it's BS and that life happens at its own pace, but it just gets hard sometimes."
And finally...
17. "Being told to 'man up' when scared, upset, or anxious — even I when a kid."
What do you think of these? Fellow men, what are secrets about being a guy that aren't usually talked about? Let us know in the comments below.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.