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    Guys Are Sharing "Men Secrets" That Are Actually Hard To Talk About, And It's Eye-Opening

    "Being told to 'man up' when scared, upset, or anxious — even when I was a kid."

    The other day, Reddit user Kyto_j asked the men of Reddit, "What's one thing you hate about being a dude?" They spoke about struggles that ranged from lighthearted to serious — and some even gave perspectives you don't always hear.

    A group of guy friends hanging out
    David Lees / Getty Images

    Here are some of the top-voted responses:

    1. "The mental health of men isn't taken seriously."

    u/dontblametheidiot

    2. "Never received a compliment in my life, except the time a girl told me she liked my boots in eighth grade."

    "I appreciate it still."

    u/aviator122

    3. "Honestly, so few people care about how I'm feeling."

    "They ask how I'm doing, and they wanna hear about all of the stuff that I'm actively doing — but they don't wanna hear that I'm dealing with some emotional stuff."

    u/Jtoppy97

    4. "I'm a stay-at-home dad. I don't know how to put it simply or what the right term is, but I have been semi-frequently harassed, berated, and otherwise made to look foolish or feel ashamed because I'm a man who loves his babies."

    A father carries his sleeping child
    The Good Brigade / Getty Images

    "Out at the park with my son? 'Poor guy has to be with his kids while the missus is at home. Must be whipped.' At the grocery store with the baby? 'Oh you're so sweet doing this for your wife.'

    At the doctor doing checkups/shots? Random people saying I either don't know what I'm talking about, that I just think my son is special, that I can't be trusted to give info on their health because I'm not their mom, and that I 'need to tell my wife that....'

    Those aren't bad — it's just obnoxious. The part that really sucks is that my friends make fun of me for it, or when an argument happens, they throw it in my face that I don't have a job and therefore am not a real man. Just the status quo of a man must work to death and a woman is the only one fit to stay home grinds my gears.

    I know how to change a diaper. Yes, I'm happy. Yes, it was MY choice to stay home. No, I don't mind not getting to f*** off with my friends all the time. Yes, I know how to deal with children's medical issues — and no, I wouldn't trade it for the world."

    u/Da3thraxys

    5. "Not feeling comfortable talking about my feelings."

    u/ChiefGuac

    6. "Being expected to always do the first move. I’d love to be asked to go out on a date just once."

    u/ethereumhodler

    7. "Balding. I hate it."

    u/fulaghee

    8. "I’m very, very emotionally sensitive, and people laugh at me for it."

    A guy sits alone on his phone, looking sad
    Westend61 / Getty Images

    "Just the other day, I made a post in a Facebook group reviewing a restaurant I had a great experience in, and all these strange men and women made fun of me. I wish I could blow it off, but it hurt my feelings so bad, and I can’t just move on and shake it off. I wanted to either write every mean person who wrote, and tell them how much they hurt my feelings or hurt them myself.

    I still even get caught up thinking for hours sometimes about my bullies in primary school. I’m 31..."

    u/Yusi-D-Jordan

    9. "Being told that men should express emotions, but when we do, it must be only for certain situations, shown in a certain way, for a certain time, or you're not a 'man.'"

    u/babajisbro

    10. "The expectations that come with it (both men and women have them)."

    "Society expects me to work my ass off to support a family even if it’s at the expense of my own well-being. I’m expected to like sports, cars, guns, and beer. I’m expected to not be emotionally vulnerable or sensitive. Even from other men, I’m expected to be some sex-crazed animal that can’t help but make perverted remarks about/at any woman in view. And when you’re not these things, most people don’t know what to do with you. I’ve found my people who do enjoy me for who I am, but these are all things I’ve experienced and still experience pretty frequently."

    u/JerryCan1217

    11. "The need to be tall as other men."

    u/Glittering_Mistake37

    12. "Trying unsuccessfully to be buff. I'm self-conscious that I'm kinda skinny and not very muscular."

    u/WestAct6351

    13. "Not having been equipped with the tools to be emotionally self-understanding."

    A man looks in the mirror, as if contemplating something
    Monzenmachi / Getty Images

    "So many of my guy friends and I are now realizing how much we have going on in our heads — unresolved traumas, sexist perspectives, repressed feelings — and we haven’t ever really been given the time/space or encouragement to work on them. And now it feels like I can’t really manage certain situations, but everyone expects me to have it figured out. I just found out about therapy, and I’m getting started... It’s difficult not having the space to be emotionally vulnerable."

    u/juncstaa

    14. "Men's fashion is pretty lame compared to women's."

    u/alexander_zero

    15. "Society's concept of what a man should be and be able to do."

    "I'm from the South where, apparently, it's incredibly important to be a big, strong, burly man who has tons of trade skills; anything less, and people look down on you and judge you. It's created a horrible self-image for myself that I struggle with almost daily."

    u/Srgt_PEANUT

    16. "Unrealistic expectations because guys are supposed to 'have it all figured out' — feeling like you're falling behind or not measuring up to where you're 'supposed to be.'"

    "Like, I know it's BS and that life happens at its own pace, but it just gets hard sometimes."

    u/PredatorsScar

    And finally...

    17. "Being told to 'man up' when scared, upset, or anxious — even I when a kid."

    A young boy sits alone, scared
    Techin Rungwattnasophol / Getty Images / EyeEm

    What do you think of these? Fellow men, what are secrets about being a guy that aren't usually talked about? Let us know in the comments below.

    Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.