We recently asked brides of the BuzzFeed Community who called off their marriage on the wedding day (or very, very close to the wedding day) to share their stories and why they did it. Here are the shocking — and heartbreaking — results:
Note: Some submissions were also pulled from this Reddit thread and this one.
1. "I found him cheating with my sister the night before the wedding."
2. "I just panicked. I was way too young to get married (I was 22), and I didn’t really know the guy I was going to marry — who, by the way, was 10 years older than me. He seemed nice, but I hadn’t known him for more than three months. His family was really rude to me. They made a lot of rude comments about how they were from a much wealthier background than I was, and my fiancé may have been nice to me, but he didn’t defend me whatsoever against these classist remarks."
"I felt like I had so much more that I wanted to do before getting married, so many more dates I wanted to go on. I wanted to one day marry a better man than him. I had to leave. So, I did. I wish things had ended more amiably, but I did what I had to do, and I’ve never regretted it."
—73, New York
3. "I found out the day of my wedding while getting my makeup done that my soon-to-be husband was on Tinder. I found out because while GETTING READY FOR OUR WEDDING, he had matched with one of the guest's cousins and was actively messaging her trying to plan to see her before we went on our honeymoon! She just so happened to send the wedding guest a picture of him who immediately came and told me."
"If she hadn't sent that picture I would have 100% married him. I was so in love. I didn't say anything to anyone other than my family, and I left. I sent my brothers to get my stuff and dogs from our shared house and never spoke to him again."
—28, Maryland
4. "I have three cats who I love and have since before I met him. Then, the night before we got married, he casually said, 'Hey babe. I’m allergic to cats, so when we move in together (which we hadn’t yet because of financial concerns, but we were planning on doing soon after the wedding), you’re gonna have to get rid of them.' I was shocked! Why had he not told me until now?"
"We could have worked something out! It occurred to me that if he didn’t tell me something important like this, I couldn’t trust him to be more open with me about other things. I left him and never looked back."
—47, Michigan
5. "He casually informed me the morning of the wedding that I would be his SIXTH wife! He had NEVER told me that he had even one ex-wife, let alone five! I left him and have no regrets."
—Anonymous, England
6. "I found out on our wedding day that my husband-to-be was seeing someone else. He didn’t have the balls to tell me and was still going to go through with the ceremony. He thought he could just keep up with both relationships after we were married. His mom even tried to talk me into keeping up appearances for everyone’s benefit. She said that I needed to forgive and forget. I so dodged the intended bullet!"
"He did marry the other girl, and they divorced after a couple of years and two kids. I met my current husband six months after I called off my wedding, and he and I have been together for 26 years."
—Anonymous, New York
7. "He shat in the wedding cake. I wish I were kidding."
—30, Maryland
8. "We had been together for four years prior to this day. Never once did he talk about having a dom/sub relationship. My wedding day gift? A collar and a submissive contract for me to sign, the first line read: 'This is not an optional contract.' I immediately looked at my mom, had her help me out of my dress, and called my dad to get the car ready around the back."
"I left. My wonderful mother and her friends helped clear the venue. Haven't spoken to him since; he is married now, and it makes me sad to think what she is going through."
—34, Texas
9. "At first, I was so excited that I found someone who I felt was my best friend and my match. Then, I started to noticed his mood changed, and he started to become more angry when he spoke to me at times. He became distant. When I confronted him about this change, I felt that I was being blamed for being too sensitive and that I was overreacting. Also, he was very secretive about his phone and where he would go. One night, it became too much for me, and I canceled the wedding."
"It felt liberating to do it and not have a date. That moment was a wake-up call for him. I'm an independent woman and professional. I refuse to allow anyone to make me feel that I’m not worthy of proper communication. It was such a chore just to get him to talk without blowing up. He just doesn't know how to communicate in a relationship and doesn't have the emotional intelligence to be in a relationship without putting me down by blaming me for an argument when I’m simply trying to have a conversation. There seemed to always be a blowup when I asked where he was after he was gone for several hours. I couldn't handle it anymore."
—45, California
10. "He told me that he always kind of wanted to sleep with my sister and I at the same time. No thanks, I don’t want to get involved with a guy like that for the rest of my life."
—29, California
11. "Months before the wedding day we had been apartment hunting and when we found one we did the paperwork. A week before moving into the apartment he told me that he wasn't moving in with me because his mom still needed his financial help. The apartment was going to be under both of our names yet only I was expected to pay for it and he planned to visit me when he wanted to until he moved in after getting married. At that very moment, I gave the ring back to him and walked away."
—34, San Francisco
12. "He wanted to wear a bucket hat to the wedding and wasn’t taking no for an answer. Needless to say, I left and don’t regret it."
—41, Ireland
13. "I had to call mine off because the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with (or so I thought) decided to sit me down the night before and tell me all about the trysts and flings he had been having throughout our relationship together. He said if he doesn't come clean now, he wouldn't be able to live with himself. After the list was done, I was crying my eyes out. He said something along the lines of, 'Well, I didn't think you would take it THIS hard.' Seriously."
"We were going to have a huge wedding, even though I really didn't want a huge one (weird, I guess, but I never envisioned my wedding growing up like other little girls), so I had to call tons and tons of people and tell them it was off, listen to them try to console me over the phone, and crying every time I hung it up. He told me he didn't want to call anyone because he was so upset with me calling it off. He didn't want to see me ever again. That worked, because I found someone who actually loves me, and we have been married for three and a half years with a beautiful 2.5-year-old son. And he has never cheated on me. I never thought I could trust again, but I'm still slowly getting over that fear after all these years (It was 12 years ago)."
14. "I was about to make a huge mistake. I realized my fiancé was drinking too much, neglecting me emotionally, and was never actually there when I needed him (for example, a friend of mine died, and he didn't want to go with me to the funeral because he had a Magic: The Gathering tournament). I was marrying the completely wrong man, and thank god I realized it before it was too late and was brave enough to call it off."
"My family was super supportive, my super awesome grandmother took care of letting all the guests know. My dad had no problem with the money he lost in all the deposits. I gave my wedding cake to a homeless shelter since it was already paid for in full. Three years later, I married a wonderful man who is everything the first guy was not."
15. "My aunt just decided one hour before showing up to the city hall that she would not get married. My parents told me the guy was really nice but very boring (she is not). She never regretted it, though she felt bad for the guy. A couple of weeks later, she just decided to take a hitchhiking trip to Spain (from France), and she had a grand time. She was 20 or so."
"It took her 20 years to get her love life together in a satisfactory manner but at least, she didn't have to go through years of boredom and a painful divorce."
16. "I called off my wedding four days before the big day. Two of my bridesmaids (my best friend since high school and my cousin) got into a huge fight because they found out that he was sleeping with both of them. It was cheating within cheating and was easily the most surreal and heartbreakingly awful experience of my entire life."
And finally...
17. "It’s so hard to explain, but it felt like, in the night, everything, all the love I felt just fell apart as he slept, and I lay sleepless in our bed. It just crumbled and fell off and faded into nothing. I felt pained and frightened, but from a distance, if that makes sense. When the idea 'maybe I should leave him' formed in my head, my unease disappeared, but when I thought about why I shouldn’t, it reassembled itself. I was so tired."
"I got out of bed, took a red-eye back to my hometown, and never looked back. I still see him in my dreams and my poems sometimes."
—45, Vermont
Fellow brides, have you canceled your wedding on your wedding day (or right before)? Feel free to share your story in the comments below. Or, if you prefer to remain anonymous, you can use this Google form.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.