1. Labels matter.
2. Don’t trust a teenager.
3. Never announce you are out of town on Twitter.
4. If your net worth is over a mil, consider hiring a house sitter.
5. Block your address from public databases.
6. Don’t leave your keys under a mat.
7. It’s stupid to take photo evidence of the swag you stole.
8. Don’t make friends with a klepto.
9. You may want to rethink homeschooling your kids
10. Probably shouldn’t talk to Vanity Fair if you are under investigation.
11. Do not leave your pets at home.
12. Lock your side door.
13. Dropping names never helps.
14. MIA and Sleigh Bells make for a great soundtrack.
15. And finally, Emma Watson nailed the American accent.
- An armed militant group is urging its members to patrol polling stations on election day, a move the group's leaders say is aimed at preventing voter fraud.
- RIP — Vine says it's discontinuing its mobile app, effectively ending the 6-second video service 💀
- The Obama administration delayed trans workers' protections for years after a landmark civil rights decision 🔎🌈
- Apple is expected to unveil a handful of updates to its Mac line today, including a new MacBook Pro📱 🍎