1. Labels matter.
2. Don’t trust a teenager.
3. Never announce you are out of town on Twitter.
4. If your net worth is over a mil, consider hiring a house sitter.
5. Block your address from public databases.
6. Don’t leave your keys under a mat.
7. It’s stupid to take photo evidence of the swag you stole.
8. Don’t make friends with a klepto.
9. You may want to rethink homeschooling your kids
10. Probably shouldn’t talk to Vanity Fair if you are under investigation.
11. Do not leave your pets at home.
12. Lock your side door.
13. Dropping names never helps.
14. MIA and Sleigh Bells make for a great soundtrack.
15. And finally, Emma Watson nailed the American accent.
- Confused refugees question what's next as French authorities begin to clear out the Calais "Jungle" camp.
- Donald Trump keeps questioning polls and insisting he's winning — even as most show him behind nationally.
- At least 59 people were killed in an overnight militant attack at a police center in Quetta, Pakistani officials say.
- These parents came up with maybe the best dirty Halloween couple's costume ever. Parents ftw 😂👏