1. You pregamed too hard.
2. You couldn't pregame. You were out of booze. Stores were closed. Too poor to buy more anyway.
3. No one you knew was going
4. Your phone was charging
5. You lacked material resources
6. You forgot where the party was and ended up on Facebook for half an hour...
7. ...then logged off but forgot whose party it was and ended up on Facebook again.
8. You found out that guy you've been avoiding was going...
9. ...annnndd those girls you hate.
10. Everyone there was older than you
11. Everyone there was younger than you
12. You tried putting on makeup but got distracted watching 45 Michelle Phan tutorials
13. Nude pumps?
14. Couldn't decide which bag to bring
15. Checked the weather. It was cold.
16. And there was potential for rain.
17. You gave the last of your cash to the delivery guy
18. Too much delivery = food baby.
19. You maxed out your credit card
20. You had only one piece of gum left.
21. You didn't feel like competing with skanks
22. and you weren't in the mood to flirt to get free drinks.
23. You read the venue's yelp review
24. You started watching SVU.
25. You thought about late night subways
26. and how hard life is when you're hot and you ride subways
27. and subways in general.
28. But... cabs = expensive traffic jams that are bad for the environment.
29. Your "girlfriend" paid you a surprise visit.
30. You were too busy f*cking around with your cat.
31. You discovered how much you love your new laundry detergent
32. then you finally found something you wanted to wear
33. You got hungry again, chugged cooking wine and made more food
34. Then you started thinking about your feelings
35. Made and/or got a booty call
36. and watched sh*tty shows on Netflix and Hulu before your free trials expired at midnight.
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