Skip To Content

    19 Borderline Sexual Fortune Cookies That Deserve A Fucking Medal

    "Your tongue is your ambassador."

    1. When your delicious Chinese food dinner ends in an erotic fairy tale.

    2. When a quiet night on the couch turns into Sex 101.

    3. When you receive important instructions that you never even asked for.

    4. When you're not sure if you're in a food coma from all the fried rice, or are actually having sex.

    5. When science, sex, and take-out collide.

    6. When you never want to smile ever again.

    Twitter: @BrookCalBecker

    "Your smile is a curve that can get a lot of things straight."

    7. When a compliment on a piece of paper feels a lot like sexual harassment.

    8. When a Chinese food delivery person hands you the message you've been waiting for.

    9. When your meal teaches you something new.

    10. When everyone at the table is reading their fortunes and it's your turn to go.

    11. When it sounds almost too good to be true.

    Twitter: @alexxfelice

    "Be prepared to receive something special with no strings attached."

    12. When you receive a message you never knew you needed...

    13. ...TWICE.

    14. When you're not sure if you should be excited or afraid.

    15. When you get the message loud and clear.

    16. When you learn how to say a very important word in a language you've always wanted to learn.

    17. When you knew it all along, but receive the validation from a cookie.

    18. When you find out all your hard work at the gym is thankfully paying off.

    19. And finally, when your neighborhood Chinese restaurant answers the question you've always wondered about yourself.