What It’s Like Dating As A Femme Lesbian

“Wait, you’re gay?”

1. So you’re finding out that you’re a queer girl who also happens to be feminine.

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Portia de Rossi, Amber Heard, and Raven-Symoné

But for some reason, this isn’t so easy for everyone else to understand.

2. When you come out to people, they genuinely think you’re kidding.

3. And when you convince them you’re telling the truth, they’re like, “But guys like you so much!”

4. You start to hit the bars to find a girlfriend, but guys are constantly hitting on you.

5. Even if you’re into guys too, straight dudes who hit on girls in lesbian bars are undoubtedly terrible.

6. And all of the girls ignore you because they think you’re straight too.

So you decide to change your look so you come across as “more gay.”

7. You try dying your hair to look more “edgy”:

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But then you’re deemed “unprofessional.”

8. You think maybe you should cut off your hair and go for a more “soft butch” look:

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But you’ll miss the braids! And it’s so cold!

9. Maybe you should be super SUPER feminine all the time.

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But then you feel like you’re never allowed to just wear jeans and a T-shirt.

10. But no matter how you dress, guys keep telling you it’s a “waste” that you’re not into them.

And you’re still not getting hit on by girls, so you decide to just go for it and make the first move.


11. Which is seriously awkward, because, let’s face it, you’ve never learned how to hit on someone.


12. When you do finally establish contact, here comes the assumption that you’re just “experimenting.”

13. And, of course, you’re told that you can’t be politically involved in the queer community because you’re too conforming.

Believe me, it’s pretty transgressive to be feminine AND strong.

14. When you do finally get a girlfriend, everyone expects her to be butch.

15. And people are still constantly asking you why you dress that way if you’re into girls.


The answer will literally always be “I do it because I want to.”

16. That should be a good enough answer for anyone important, including yourself.

You keep on doing what you do, girl.

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