This Is How To Argue Over Social Media - In 24 Steps

A 24 step image guide to help you argue better on the internet. Remember kids, everything you post online is out there forever, so you had better do it right!

1. Post lots of insensitive and polarizing memes!

People will love it.

2. Appeal to your audience!

Only have friends who will "Like" and then also note they "agree" with the meme too! It helps you build your ego!

3. Justify why you posted it!

Clarify your stance to anyone who disagrees with the meme and then try to end the conversation abruptly as to avoid any confrontation!

4. Two words, "Credentials"!

If someone does decide go against your ideals, bring up your worthy credentials!

5. Impatience is key!

Post emphatically in succession if the person doesn't respond within 2 minutes. I mean, what else could they be doing if they aren't on Social Media??

6. Get angry and start throwing insults!

Don't forget to jump to conclusions about the person you are arguing with! You will need those conclusions later.

7. Post aaaaa-lot!

This is similar to step 5. Be sure to post multiple times before the person posts anything else and bring up your credentials again.

8. Bully the person!

Cyber Bullying is the "in thing" right now. Pick something out about the persons speech or another characteristic to hammer down on. Get ready, you'll be doing this often.

9. Misinterpret something that was said and show more of your elitist opinions!

If this brings up your penis, even better. Don't forget to use your conclusions from earlier to jump in again.

10. Confuse the arguer!

Try to appear reasonable but also try to start another debate on a different topic.

11. Flaunt what cha momma gave ya!

Whip out that big ol' dick of credentials, hit 'em in the face, and tell him what really matters... Money, Baby!

12. Go "ALL OUT"!

Bring up his city! Talk about your penis AGAIN in your next two posts! Try to discredit his word and insult him based on where you think he grew up and/or lives now! FUCK IT, IT'S ON BITCH!

13. Make direct death threats!

One way to win an argument is to kill the person arguing against you. If you can't do that, the next best thing is to threaten to do so. Bring up rape again, your military service and your badass Army/Marine buddies. Mention guns too! Follow it up with a backhanded compliment too.

14. Hold Fast!

If you made any mistakes jumping to conclusions don't acknowledge that shit, just remember steps 7 and 8!

15. Know someone who knows a guy named "Caleb"!

If you don't know one, find one!

16. Don't kiss the guy!

I know it's your instinct to do it but it isn't your time to come out of the closet. Deflect and talk about murder some more!

17. Go M.I.A. for a while!

Don't really leave, just don't post anything. It's hard to do, especially when your really starting to prove your point, but do it.

18. Don't be like "Joe"!

Just don't. He's a douche bag and no one likes him... Use that insult later!

19. Be the "CUM-BACK KING"!

Talk about your penis some more. It is a good technique, don't change what works. Also, use the insults you used against your little sister when you became a Freshman in High School. "If I wanted some stupid come-back, I'da wiped it from your moms chin!"

20. Penis, Penis, Penis!

Keep misinterpreting the metaphor which explains exactly the situation that you're in and don't let him forget you like the sight of the word "penis" coming from your fingers!

21. Know a racist!

If you hold conservative views and don't have a racist friend that'll post "funny memes" that you can laugh about secretly, you ain't very conservative.

22. Drive your point right into his ass with a clip from your favorite movie!

Your favvy movie must involve the angst of not being able to murder, finally being able to murder, and Angelina Jolie or you can GTFO!

23. Bring in backup and end it!

If the douche doesn't back down after all that, bring in a friend for backup and then leave him hangin' there. Be sure to skew the details on the conversation too.

24. Sit back and sip on your Grape Martini!

criswatk / Via freeimages.com

Congratulations, you learned how to argue over the internet! Follow these simple steps and you too could be a winner! Go, be free, unleash the penis!