14 Thoughts You'll Inevitably Have At Your First Office Job

I think I broke the printer again.

1. Wait, I actually need to know how to use Excel?

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*Googles how to merge cells and some formula shit*

2. So like, whose snacks are those in the kitchen?

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Is Donna cool with sharing or...?

3. Has everyone heard me listening "Hungry Eyes" through my headphones 14 times today?

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It's the only thing getting me through 2-5 p.m.

4. Are all my coworkers talking about me on IM?

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Get that smug look off your face, Donna.

5. So what's the deal with PTO, and how soon is too soon for me to use it all?

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I know I've only worked here three weeks, but I really need a vacay.

6. What's the dress code here? Are sequins cool or...?

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I mean, just bought a pretty dope tube top from H&M so...

7. Please god, tell me these people aren't monitoring my Internet history.

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I SWEAR ALL THOSE SKETCHY WEBSITES JUST MAGICALLY POPPED UP!

8. Do I have to make small talk with everyone I see in the break room? Like, every time?

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Please god, Donna... no more about your egg allergy.

9. When should I start showing my coworkers the real me?

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I'm real weird and have no clue how to use Excel.

10. Is dying from lack of sunlight a thing?

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*Stocks up on vitamin D and cries.*

11. Am I the only one who needs a three-hour nap after lunch everyday or... you guys good?

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I'm just gonna listen to Coldplay and pretend to work for the next two hours if that's cool.

12. Please stop asking me what I did over the weekend.

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What do you want from me? I ATE BAGEL BITES AND WATCHED EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND.

13. Um does anyone know how to fix this printer or...

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Thanks for nothing, Donna.

14. Thank god it's Friday! And thank god I have a job!