Oscar Predictions 2016

*~Bill Murray taught me~*

Ok now before we start I would like to briefly discuss the controversy surrounding this year's Academy Awards. I'm not going to get too much into to it, but I will say that everyone that was nominated deserved to be nominated, but not everyone who deserved a nomination was nominated. I do think some of the nominees were not as deserving as some people who were not nominated oops.

Anyways let's get into this year's garbage.

Alright, now for the categories of best supporting actor and actress, I think I can wholeheartedly say that no one cares about these awards.

Best Actress

Jennifer Lawrence - Joy

This is JLaw's fourth nomination and she’s won once before and she’s also won several Golden Globes. But another award for her and I think she’ll just be too much I mean she’s already calling people out for using their phones in her presence and last time she won she fell walking up the steps and even though a good fall would probably do her good, I just can’t stand her trying too hard to be relatable, like just shut up you're not like us ok.

Charlotte Rampling - 45 Years

Despite the title of the movie that she's nominated for, Charlotte Rampling is not 45 years old. She is 69 and from the UK. Now 69 year old Brits haven’t been having the best of luck so far this year (i.e. David Bowie, Alan Rickman). I mean who knows if she’ll even make it to Sunday.

Cate Blanchett - Carol

Cate’s won a Best Actress award before as well as a Best Supporting Actress award. I just feel like the Academy will pick a younger, fresh-faced nominee. Plus she was in The Lord of the Rings movies which set women back about 500 years. However she can pull off an array of accents and the Academy has to take that into consideration, but it's just not her year.

Saoirse Ronan - Brooklyn

I honestly do not know much about Saoirse besides the fact that she's one of those nominees who the presenters dread having to try and pronounce their name. She's 21 years old so she’s young, talented, pretty, Irish and I think the Academy has to give her that, but I honestly don’t think they’ll give it to her this time.

Brie Larson - Room

I feel like Brie is going to be this year’s it girl she’s just got that factor. Also she won the Golden Globe for this category, so that's a good sign and she costarred with that adorable little boy. And let's not forget she had to kiss Jonah Hill in 21 Jump Street so she deserves this award. My pick for Best Actress is Brie Larson.

Best Actor

Bryan Cranston - Trumbo

Hey it's everyone's favorite drug dealer, back at it again with the illegal activity. In Trumbo, Bryan plays a Hollywood screenwriter who is banned from the Academy Awards because of his political beliefs. So, if he was really Oscar material he would stay in character and not show up to this year's ceremony.

Matt Damon - The Martian

Matt did receive an Academy Award for Original Screenplay which he co-wrote with his boyfriend (and mine) Ben Affleck. I feel that he’s deserving of a Best Actor award, I mean he's basically just as qualified as Leo, however he does already have an Oscar under his belt. It’s just not at the right time for the second hottest guy nominated.

Michael Fassbender - Steve Jobs

The only thing I know about Michael besides that he plays Steve Jobs in this movie is that Mindy Kaling wants to sleep with him. Also, last year Eddie Redmayne won this award for playing another brilliant Steve, the only difference is that this Steve is dead and his company is currently locked in a battle with the FBI. And we all know if there's one thing the Academy doesn't want to do, it's to challenge the United States Government. Oh and to nominate black people.

Eddie Redmayne - The Danish Girl

Speaking of Eddie, guess what, he's nominated again this year. Except this time he's not playing a Steve, he's playing an Eve. That's right Eddie played a transgender woman and did an amazing job as expected. He's also English and the Academy loves the English, especially since most of them are English. Although, he did win the award last year and they wouldn't give it to the same guy two years in a row.

Leonardo DiCaprio - The Revenant

Not trying to jinx it, but was there really ever any competition? *Fun Fact*: I was once engaged to Leo my sophomore year of high school. My pick for Best Actor is Leonardo DiCaprio.

Best Picture

Brooklyn

This movie probably takes place in Brooklyn, although it's basically irrelevant because I don't think anyone has seen it.

Bridge of Spies

This movie was nominated by default, because you know Spielberg and Hanks. It probably has something to do with spies and maybe a metaphorical bridge.

Room

I've heard that this movie is depressing and I haven't seen it yet because I can't deal with that kind of emotional baggage in my life right now. Although, I've heard it's good and would recommend it for the emotionally stable.

The Big Short

The Big Short, like Spotlight, is one of those successful star-studded movies. And props to this cast in particular, I mean all good looking guys (Ryan Gosling, Brad Pitt, Christian Bale, and give or take Steve Carrell depending on how you feel about Steve Carrell). However, no one knows what this movie is about and the title is an oxymoron which just confuses people even more.

Mad Max: Fury Road

Wth no, not a chance. Mad Max getting Best Picture is the equivalent to Donald Trump winning the election - national embarrassment. After years of being the global police, getting involved in everyone's problems, and getting deeper and deeper in debt, the rest of the world will finally be able to truthfully say that we've lost it.

The Revenant

Leo eats a real raw bison liver in this one guys. Oh and let's not forget that iconic bear scene that will go down in Hollywood history as the scene that made us fall in love all over again. This is the feel good movie of the year.

The Martian

This laugh out loud comedy is about a man who gets left alone on Mars to die. There is also a lot of disco music and an emotional David Bowie tribute.

Spotlight

I think this movie is about Bostonian child molesters. Spotlight (like The Big Short) is one of those movies where they throw a bunch of well-known Hollywood stars together in a movie and the movie actually turns out good (not good examples include any Kevin Smith movie). My pick for Best Picture is Spotlight.

Watch the 88th annual Academy Awards ceremony, hosted by Chris Rock, Sunday at 7e/4p on ABC.