1. You've been clobbered by one of these.
2. You long for the chance to try out the AED.
3. You know at least three ways of doing CPR.
4. You understand the pain of guarding early-morning lap swim.
5. Your keychain sports one of these babies.
6. You know about everyone's "hidden" tattoos.
7. You sometimes accidentally enforce pool rules in your outside life.
8. You know waaayyy more about the lives of swimmers than they realize.
9. That awkward moment when you run into a pool regular at the grocery store.
10. You've witnessed more crack than a tenured plumber.
11. There are days when your only prayer is that someone will poop in the pool.
12. You've seen an impressive amount of creativity when it comes to swimming strokes.
13. You cry inside when your friends ask you to hang out with them at the pool.
14. But despite it all, deep down you're super proud of being a lifeguard.
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