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What is it about the good ol' underground that makes our sensitivity so much muchier? Are we slowly trading our souls for Added Time or Value on that little yellow card? How many swipes away are we from being reduced to mere blobs of aggression?
If the MTA conducted a survey and Brian Johnson authored the collective response, he'd say:
"Dear MTA, we accept the fact that we have to sacrifice chunks of our time in order to get where we need to go. But we think you're crazy for taking our sanity with it. You see us as you want to see us - in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we have found out is that each one of us is a Mad Man…
…and a starving artist…
…and a hipster…
…a student…
…and a fashionista.
Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, the Subway Club."
Much like John Hughes' 5 beloved juveniles, we too, New York Transit Riders, have so much going on inside.
So many feels. All the feels:
1. Sizing everyone up on the platform during rush hour and positioning yourself among the weakest warriors.
2. Trying to fit the whole squad on the train
3. Eating anything remotely loud/crunchy
4. Completely profiling people based on what stop they get on/off at
5. Cracking open that incredibly smart book you're reading...
6. and braving the empty August rush hour car.
7. Speaking of seats...Feelin' like a saint when you give up yours
8. ...and pretending you're asleep / deeply focused / blind / dead when you're feelin' a little more Rosa Parks.
9. Outwardly judging the person leaning over you to read the map
10. And the seemingly one-sided relationship between your wallet and the metro card machine.
11. Hearing the express train "now arriving on the [other] level"...
12. or worse, hearing the Subway Screech (aka when the MTA runs out of WD40)
13. ...or even WORSE, "Ladies and gentlemen, it's SHOWTIME!"
14. But walking into the station just as your train's arriving? Priceless.
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