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17 Times Neil deGrasse Tyson Won Life

The astrophysicist's Twitter is out of this world.

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1. When he called B.S. on astrology:

Not that anybody asked, but when the Moon is in the 7th house, & Jupiter aligns with Mars, nothing will happen because of it.

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

Not that anybody asked, but when the Moon is in the 7th house, & Jupiter aligns with Mars, nothing will happen because of it.

8:16 AM - 25 Apr 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

2. When he took it all in:

I love the smell of the Universe — in the evening.

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

I love the smell of the Universe — in the evening.

7:14 PM - 30 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

3. When he offered the real story of Christmas:

Santa knows Physics: Of all colors, Red Light penetrates fog best. That's why Benny the Blue-nosed reindeer never got the gig

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

Santa knows Physics: Of all colors, Red Light penetrates fog best. That's why Benny the Blue-nosed reindeer never got the gig

8:03 AM - 25 Dec 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

4. When he knew what sharks were thinking:

I wonder is Sharks feel sorry for humans because we get only two sets of teeth, rather than unlimited.

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

I wonder is Sharks feel sorry for humans because we get only two sets of teeth, rather than unlimited.

5:17 PM - 01 Feb 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

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5. When he offered this intriguing zombie proposition:

Occasionally I wonder what a football game would be like if played by Zombies. Would be slower, but oh so much more violent.

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

Occasionally I wonder what a football game would be like if played by Zombies. Would be slower, but oh so much more violent.

5:52 PM - 01 Feb 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

6. When he said what we're all too ashamed to admit:

if I am ever abducted by aliens, I just may be compelled to ask, “Do you have Hoverboards on your home planet?"

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

if I am ever abducted by aliens, I just may be compelled to ask, “Do you have Hoverboards on your home planet?"

7:24 PM - 14 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

7. When he reminded us that humans just don't get the big picture:

Although clocks on the Prime Meridian keep "Universal Time", I’m quite sure Aliens across the actual universe don’t care.

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

Although clocks on the Prime Meridian keep "Universal Time", I’m quite sure Aliens across the actual universe don’t care.

4:15 PM - 31 Dec 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

8. And that humans are largely dumb:

Aliens, seeing Humans kill over land, politics, religion, & skin color, would surely ask, “What the f*%k is wrong with you?"

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

Aliens, seeing Humans kill over land, politics, religion, & skin color, would surely ask, “What the f*%k is wrong with you?"

12:44 PM - 06 Dec 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

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9. When he made this astute observation, making you oh-so-grateful:

If we had twelve fingers, there’d be no middle finger to flip at people with whom you’ve run out of words to communicate.

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

If we had twelve fingers, there’d be no middle finger to flip at people with whom you’ve run out of words to communicate.

11:08 AM - 22 Dec 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

10. When he shot down idiots, but with utter class:

Just because you can't figure out how ancient civilizations built stuff, doesn't mean they got help from Aliens.

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

Just because you can't figure out how ancient civilizations built stuff, doesn't mean they got help from Aliens.

5:27 PM - 05 Dec 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

11. When he made this joke about atheists:

I wonder if Atheists eat at T.G.I. Fridays.

12. OK, literally all the jokes Neil has ever made about atheists:

I wonder if social media atheists ever use "OMG". If so, they probably intended to type "OYG".

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

I wonder if social media atheists ever use "OMG". If so, they probably intended to type "OYG".

8:25 PM - 23 Oct 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

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13. When he made this hypothesis, which makes total sense:

Dracula & other undead people who sleep in coffins must have good abs. They always rise up flat-backed when the casket opens.

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

Dracula & other undead people who sleep in coffins must have good abs. They always rise up flat-backed when the casket opens.

7:09 AM - 03 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

14. When, once again, he spelled out another of humanity's inconsistencies.

We pet dogs, expecting them to lick your hand or face in delight, but if a human licked your face you’d call the police.

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

We pet dogs, expecting them to lick your hand or face in delight, but if a human licked your face you’d call the police.

7:53 AM - 08 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

15. When he made this good point that made you pause to think:

I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a fat turtle.

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a fat turtle.

11:05 AM - 26 Mar 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

16. When he was clearly the awesomest person in the grocery store, ever:

When I shop for fruit & melons I like to hold a grape next to a cantaloupe & think of Earth next to Jupiter. Then I eat Earth

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

When I shop for fruit & melons I like to hold a grape next to a cantaloupe & think of Earth next to Jupiter. Then I eat Earth

7:35 AM - 21 Feb 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

17. And when he SHUT. DOWN. ALL. THE. HATERS:

You should all know by now that if you accuse me of being a Nerd or a Geek, I’ll simply take it as a compliment and move on.

Neil deGrasse Tyson@neiltysonFollow

You should all know by now that if you accuse me of being a Nerd or a Geek, I’ll simply take it as a compliment and move on.

9:30 AM - 08 Feb 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

So be thankful for the joy Neil brings you. And always be thankful for this Vulcan salute: