A Ranking Of 40 Halloween Candies From Nastiest To Raddest

Pure tasteless sugar blechhhhh.

Poop-shaped boringness.

CANDY CORN IS THE DEVIL. You always have to have a taste each season, but even three candy corns later, it's regrettable.

Wrapped in those shady no-brand wrappers? I wouldn't trust the person who gave you these.

Peeps belong at EASTER. Not Halloween. BYE.

The worst is when you trick-or-treat at some old lady's house and she offers you these from a dish and just howwww many people have touched them before you? Ew.

The fuck are these things anyhow? Baseballs? Basketballs? Pumpkins that look like basketballs?

If you are handing out this chalk-tasting bubble gum that HARDLY EVEN BLOWS BUBBLES, then you best be giving out some Pixy Stix as well.

The people who give out these tiny chocolates are the Scrooges of Halloween and do not deserve to participate in Halloween AT ALL. These are disappointments wrapped in decorative foils.

Otherwise known as your dentist's worst nightmare.

These should be called Stupidies. Because no child looks forward to these on Halloween.

This is just a Cadbury Egg with green or blue stuff in the middle. Cloyingly sweet but then you have a blue or green mouth after.

These are like the knock-off version of Reese's pumpkins. Not buying it.

Blech. Take the candy no one likes and try to disguise them as M&Ms? Nope.

Twizzlers with a creepy green color and a poop center. No thanks.

These are like Starbursts that got peer pressured into being candy corn. JUST BE YOU, STARBURSTS.

Inventive, but not as good as a normal Milky Way.

So deceptive because when Halloween candies come in little boxes they are supposed to be the best ones, right? WRONG.

Snooore. M&Ms exist only for trading for things slightly better than M&Ms when your stash gets low.

These are kind of nasty, but kind of like fun fruity surprises you find at the bottom of your trick-or-treat bag.

Oh my god, you are a classy motherfucker if you hand these out.

A slightly rarer, caramel item to be treasured.

An even rarer caramel item to be treasured.

This is like the more sophisticated Snickers.

Do they taste good? No. Are they fun? YES.

Refreshing and cool but so much cooler because they are shaped like pumpkins.

Malt: An acquired taste. Those who revere the Whopper deserve credit.

YES. Starbursts that comes in twos — it's the perfect packaging. Provided you don't get two orange ones in a row.

Ubiquitous. But possessing of higher value in the spectrum of Fun Sized snacks.

So delicious. And it tastes even better in miniature. I know that makes no sense but it does make sense because HALLOWEEN BITCHES.

Yesss. You are totally going to save this for a day a couple weeks from Halloween, pack it in your lunch, bring it out and people are like, "Whooaaa whattt where did you get that?"

Twix is Halloween royalty.

If you give out Milk Duds at Halloween, it means you are well liked and you understand the needs of people.

There are never enough of these at Halloween. NEVER.

What flavor is the Zombie Kid? No clue, but it's probably Yum-Flavored, 'cause that's how it tastes.

Orange you glad these exist?

Any other variation of a fun-sized Reese's can go fuck itself. NUMBER ONE BEST HALLOWEEN CANDY END OF STORY GOODBYE FOREVER.