Loss And Grief Without A Phone

I'm not the only one who can't find their way to the supermarket without GPS, am I?

Via giphy.com

So you've lost your phone. Or maybe it broke. Perhaps some evil, vindictive person stole it. Life has changed (or is about to change) drastically for you. But you're not alone. Here's how I handled the Stages of Loss and Grief when my phone broke.

Denial and Isolation

1. This cant be happening to me.

2. Maybe I just need to buy a new charger.

3. I'll just take the battery out for a bit.

4. Oh my God, how is anyone going to get a hold of me?

5. I'm missing so many Instagram uploads.

6. This charger was probably broken too, I'll just go buy another new one.

7. If I can't text my friends, how do I know they even skill exist?

8. I'll just carry it around with me for

9.Nah, if I just walk away from my phone, it'll totally be working again tomorrow.

10. Oh my God. What time is it? I'M NEVER GOING TO KNOW THE TIME AGAIN!

Anger

11.There's not way i can afford a new phone this month.

12. They probably manufactured this thing to break.

13. I hate technology.

14. Whatever I don't need something that's just going to leave me like this.

15. I hate Instagram anyway, it always makes peoples lives look cooler than they are.

16. If I throw you against the wall a few times, will that knock some sense into you?

17. Snapchatt is stupid anyway.

18. I hate everyone anyway, I don't need them to be able to call me.

19. I wasted so much damn money on new chargers.

20. I didn't want to post a TBT anyway.

21. Look at all those stupid people on the bus, glued to their stupid phones.

22. "I'll text you!" Are you mocking me? You're dead to me.

Bargaining and Regret

23. If only I had kept you in a nicer case.

24. I wish I hadn't dropped you so often.

25. If I eat nothing but top-ramen for the next two months can I afford a new phone?

26. Dear God, if you make my phone work again I promise to stop snapchatting strangers.

27. This is my own fault. I was too eager to be Insta-famous.

28. I shouldn't have left you plugged in when the battery was at 100%.

Depression

29. I wonder if anyone misses my instagram posts?

30. I probably don't have any new messages anyway.

31. I bet my only voice mails are ones asking me to donate money.

32. It's not like anyone ever asks me for my number.

29. Life is so empty without being able to check facebook in awkward social situations.

33. Will I ever learn what time it is again?

34. I'm always the last the take Buzzfeed quizzes now.

35. What's the point of leaving the house? I'll just get lost without GPS anyway.

36. I've lost all of those photo memories. It's like part of my life has never happened.

37. The only person who ever calls me anyway is my mom. To see if I have a boyfriend yet.

Acceptance...?

38. Well, at least now I can't get called into work.

39. I guess I'm kind of like that mysterious friend who no one can get a hold of.

40. I've sure saved a lot of money not paying a phone bill!

41. It's kind of nice not having to text all the time.

42. Sometimes I think not having a phone makes me more engaged.

43. I'm like, low fi...or norm core...or something. That's cool, right!?

44. Oh my God this brunch is unbelievable, I wish I could Instagram it.

45. That's it. I'm getting a new phone...next month.