19 Imaginary Holidays That Would Be Less Depressing Than Valentine's Day

Because 'Gum On Your Shoe Day' would provide more spontaneity in your life than anything that occurs on February 14th.

1. Shave Your Head Day

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A new look could probably do you some good or at least justify your loveless life.

2. Define The Relationship Day

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Even the most uncomfy conversation would bring you more joy than a bag of SweetHearts.

3. Tell Your Mom You're Pregnant Day

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The awkward silences would be nothing compared to the silence that your soul will experience on Valentine's Day.

4. Trip And Fall In Front Of People Who Matter Day

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You'll feel more shame finishing a box of chocolates by yourself.

5. Visit Your Dead Relatives At A Cemetery Day

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At least you'd be surrounded by loved ones.

6. Watch A Marathon of Hoarders Day

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Better than watching rom-com's and reading horoscopes that tell you that you're going to fall in love when you really won't.

7. All Your Whites Are Pink Day

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Definitely not ideal, but you'd have something to wear if you were ever going to celebrate Valentine's Day.

8. Post About Politics On Facebook Day

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Your friends would be glad to know you're alive and experiencing some type of emotion.

9. Read About Politics On Facebook Day

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A slightly less depressing form of human contact.

10. Call All Your Exes Day

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You'd feel much less alone and it could go well but probably not.

11. Your Dad Sees You Naked Day

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This isn't good but neither is being naked and alone.

12. You See Your Dad Naked Day

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You wouldn't necessarily be depressed after this.

13. Walk In On Your Brother Watching Porn Day

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He may prefer Valentine's Day,

14. Witness Someone Being Hit By A Bus Day

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Would rather Witness A Happy Couple Holding Hands Day?

15. Diarrhea At A Party Day

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This would mean someone out there liked you enough to invite you to a party.

16. Food Stuck In Your Teeth And No One Tells You Day

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A potential opportunity to eat your comfort food a second time.

17. Get Into The Wrong Car Day

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A great story to tell if you ever find 'the one' who wants to listen.

18. Sit Next To A Stranger At The Movies Day

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Yes, they could be a serial killer, but they could also turn out to be your new BFF.

19. Monday

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Everyone would be depressed, even people with valentines.