Dear testicle-having people of Canada, this may be the first and last time you hear this, but your country needs your sperm.
Canada is seriously lacking in homegrown donated sperm, leading to both low supplies and low diversity in prospective genetic tissue.
According to the Toronto Sun, a new report estimates there are only 4,633 Canadians willing and able to donate sperm. But, realistically, the number who could actually go the distance is way lower:
However, the vigorous Health Canada screening process would narrow the number of eligible donors down to 60.
Yet patient demand for sperm is at 5,500, according to the report.
That could be why, according to the Toronto Sun, 90% of sperm used in Canada is from the U.S. and Europe.
Unlike the U.S. and some European countries, Canada outlaws paying people for their jizz. Rather, we rely on Canadians to cum in a cup out of the goodness of their hearts.
Since that's not likely to change anytime soon, the report suggests that a public awareness campaign could encourage altruistic masturbators to step forward.
Canada also has a thorough screening process. According to ReproMed, an institute in Toronto that takes sperm donations, those seeking to donate will have to endure an average of 30 appointments and seven blood tests over six months. And that's just to start.
Dr. Alfonso Del Valle, a doctor with ReproMed, told CBC he thinks a more streamlined system would help attract donors. He said potential donors "feel vilified — even though they wish to come in and provide a gift, they still have to go through this very cumbersome exercise of providing receipts and so on."
Although donors aren't paid, they can be reimbursed for expenses during the process.
But, for those who follow through, it means giving Canadians in need a shot at starting their own family.
So get on it, Canada. Do it for the lesbians ready to start a family.
Do it for everyone who's decided to try this parenting thing on their own.
Do it for the couples who need a little assist.
But most of all, do it for your country.
Lauren Strapagiel is a reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in Toronto, Canada.
Contact Lauren Strapagiel at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Got a confidential tip? Submit it here.