10 THINGS THEY DON'T TELL YOU WHEN HOUSE SHARING AT UNI

So everything is looking just peachy, you've managed to get through your first year of university unscathed (just about), you've made friends you'll keep for life (or until they move back home that is) and you're finally leaving halls. You're excited to be moving in with your BFFs and can't wait to get up to antics that'll rival that of Joey and Chandler in Friends. Yeah good luck with that, here's a list of 10 things they don't tell you.

1. Houseparties? Yeah maybe not.

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Think now you've got your own place you'll recreate parties that even the characters in Skins would want to go to? Yeah think again. House parties = Mess. Mess that you have to clear up. No cleaners around now my friend, it's all down to you. Try cleaning up the remains of 5 crates of Carling (which YOU didn't even drink) whilst your brain tries to explode from your skull.

2. Rubbish. Rubbish everywhere.

So you know how you put your leftovers in the bin and the next day when you wake up (probably around 1pm) the bin is magically empty? Well that doesn't happen in the real world. There are no magical bin fairies (University cleaners) who get rid of your rubbish, that is down to you. But deep down you know that no one will willingly take the bins out, so you have to face the fact that your kitchen will now be scented with eau d'Bin, takeaway boxes will tower up the walls and left over food will leak out, creating something that you will convince yourself to be worthy of display in the Tate Modern.

3. What the fuck is that? SHIT IT'S MOVING!!!!

You will undoubtably have an infestation of some kind. Student accommodation is cheap, its shitty and to be honest that pizza box fort you've created probably isn't helping things. Whether its ants in the summer or the house moths that munched away at all your favourite vintage shirts you bought on Brick Lane that one summer you decided to go home for two weeks, or the sliver fish you were warned of, putting you on high alert for something you can only imagine looks like Trout. The fact is its going to happen. Become one with these minute beasts, they were probably there first.

4. We should hang out... No I'll come round to yours.

Having guests has never been so stressful. Not only do you have to tidy and somehow remove the smell of garbage that lingers in the air before they arrive but you have to watch your guests like you're 007 on a secret spy mission, monitoring their every move. Now this isn't because you've gone a bit stalkerish, it's because of one thing - The deposit. God knows you're in debt up to your eye balls and that deposit is paying for your glasto ticket, so fuck me if one of your stupid friends suddenly has a personality transplant, turns into the hulk and punches a hole in the wall. Better safe than sorry and meet them elsewhere.

5. Shower? Oh you mean baby wipes?

1 Bathroom, 5 housemates. You just may as well give up now. Unless you want to wake up at 5am every morning you may as well just face the fact you're not going to be clean anytime soon. If you're a boy in a house of girls, you should probably find a somewhere else you can shower, because you're never getting a look in.

6. Bills, Bills, Bills.

To quote Destiny's Child "Bills, bills, bills", this and takeaway menus are the only post you will ever receive. It gets that bad that you stop going to check the post as it will only be bad news. Funnily enough the takeaway menus you hated to be inundated with become the light in the rain, feeding your depression (literally) after opening this months electricity bill. Tips for coping with bills...

Do's - Open all mail. (You never know they could've over charged you and you're getting your money back). Set up a account that everyone pays into that the bills come out of.

Don'ts - Offer to pay out of your own account. Your flatmates will forget to set up a direct debit to your account and your broadband will be paid to you in Sambuca shots.

7. My parcel is where?

So you're super excited because it's your BFFs birthday tonight and you've ordered a super cute pair of shoes to go with that new maxi dress you bought, it's going to look fabulous, thank god they do next day delivery, what a lifesaver. WRONG. Of course it was a Thursday night, we all know what that means... Thirsty Thursday. So you went out for a few drinks, slept in a bit longer than you should have, missed your parcel being delivered... Fuck. You receive a a little red slip saying it's at the collection centre and won't be available for 24hrs. One - Where the fuck is the collection centre. Two - It'll be too late anyway as the party is tonight. This will happen several times during your time a uni, you never learn.

8. Sunday dinners will never be the same.

So being the socialising, loveable household you are you will have amazing meals that you will eat together, taking turns in making and washing up, saving money and just being so god damn awesome. WRONG. The logistics of all getting together at the same time to not only buy the food, but then make it, is just too difficult. And lets face it, theres probably only one of you that can make anything more exciting than beans on toast, then you've got to think of dietary requirements and that one flatmate that insists they're Vegetarian but you're sure someones been stealing your fish fingers from the freezer. Uncle Bens rice pot in bed watching Netflix it is then.

9. Cold? Nah I'm not cold.

Heating the house. You will spent the first month or so living in luxurious temperatures that gently warm you to sleep and help you wake fresh and snuggly in the morning. Shorts and t-shirts are your clothing of choice for this time, that is until you receive your first heating bill and cry yourself to sleep. From now on the heating will stay off, you wear every item of clothing you own in order to keep warm, drink and eat only hot foods, stock up on extra covers for the bed and grin and bare it. The winter is coming, and you are prepared.

10. Council tax.

WHAT THE FUCK IS COUNCIL TAX AND WHY ARE THEY SAYING I OWE THEM MONEY?!?!