I love cats!I hate them because I am a terrible personI am allergic and therefore Lauren wrote me a permissionship to not like themMy cat is an assholeI don't have a cat and really want oneWhat are cats?
Suck it upQueerYou have no one to blame for this but yourselfTicky Box!I'm bored with reading themHang in there, sweetie!
Sirius/RemusNeville/MandrakesGinny/HermioneRon/George/FredPercy/His own tearsSnape/Sirius
Love Doesn't Last Too LongWorld Spins Madly OnDating a Porn StarJoleneAntarticaAll That I Want
Which Bad Dragon Sex Toy Are You?
"Imagine, if you will, a creature that has soft, forgiving flesh, unlimited dexterity, and an insatiable need to fill the holes of any creature that comes near." You probably got really into the giant squid Harry Potter fanfiction, huh? I'm not judging. Also if you film your own tentacle porn, I want in.
You're probably really into gardening.
"Meng was once a very powerful dragon, but he was cursed in an ancient war. This curse made him very small, but now he has learned how to put his size to good use, and is ready to show you!" I think this one might be Mushu. Yeah. Totally Mushu. Congrats! You're Mushu
Chance the Stallion is a on a wild ride and leaves his lovers coming back for more. Except you're probably not going to call again. Maybe it's because you're a horse and rather skittish. Or you just really have to poop. That's mostly what horses do right? The pooping? Or is it mostly eating grass?
The write up for this toy is 6 paragraphs. It has an elaborate back story. “Me Mammy called me Nemo when I was but a pup, but nowadays, the other wreckers call me Bruce. Something about me fin piercings… and didn’t I tell ye to get out of those clothes? Ye’ll catch your death of cold!” he says sternly. “Or do I have to help? I won’t lie, yer certainly a fine piece of booty …” YOU GUYS. IT'S FINDING NEMO EROTICA. YOU GUYS.
I originally read Snowball as femmy which I'm going to hope means that I adhere too much to gender binaries and not that this toy is indulging in the misogyny used against people that bottom. At the same time, you're fucking a deer asshole so let's not judge me too hard here. "Snowball the Deer is ready and raring to go! His cute tail is flipped up and readily revealing softly textured cheeks. The delicate entrance leads into pleasing sinewy textures. Will you help grant Snowball his holiday wish?" I really hope Cordelia gets this one.