How do we measure happiness? Is it created internally or does it come as a result of the external world? What are its biggest influencers and how is it measured? I recently watched a TED talk stating that happiness is created not by reality, but by the lens through which your brain views the world. If you alter your lense, you can in turn alter your reality. I found this to be a fascinating concept that I wanted to explore further. I started by acknowledging the power of the mind, using myself as a case study in this existential, intangible experiment.
Never in my 23 years did I ever have to think about looking for intrinsic happiness because I was always content with my external world. It was through my outward facing lens that I found peace, purpose, and harmony. This was at the time when I was in college, a place that provided me with a sense of constant comfort and love. My surroundings were my key to happiness. I never had to put in any effort to actually seek happiness. However, I never really realized that the source of my happiness was external until it was taken away from me. This state of bliss ended abruptly and without warning when I moved to a new city, knowing nearly no one and working a job that provided me with minimal pleasure. These circumstances forced me, for the first time in my life, to look inward and adopt constant practices of self-reflectiveness, self-realization, and mindfulness.
After months of unhappiness and isolation, I realized in some version of an epiphany that it did not have to be like this. I have been a happy person my whole life. So what has changed? My intrinsic being certainly has not changed. The only thing that was different now was my external surroundings. I began to read countless articles outlining the "formula" of happiness, and I took bits and pieces of each to implement a personal happiness mantra.
I was told to begin by reciting 3 gratitudes each day. This practice has since become a daily exercise of mine. By focusing on all of the things that there are to be grateful for, we can recondition the brain. We can train ourselves to be happy, which results in an automatic attraction of external joy and meaning. Practicing gratitude has helped me to realize that the secret to happiness is an attitude and a decision. It forces the good to be isolated and the bad to be eliminated. If we can find internal completeness, the rest will fall into place, no matter what circumstances lie outside of ourselves.
I then implemented meditation into my day in order to create lasting positive change. I joined a yoga studio and I set an intention in the beginning of class every day to be purposeful, present, and positive. That one hour every day was one that I dedicated to myself. I found peace in clearing my mind and being fully present in that moment.
The last portion of my "happiness formula" was acceptance. I learned to become numb to external sources of happiness. Instead of searching for external peace, I embraced the turmoil and hardships in this stage of my life as agents for change and growth. I redefined my meaning of happiness and adjusted myself to accept a new benchmark of what happiness meant to me. I became unaffected by the constantly changing, sometimes harsh, and rather unpredictable factors of our world.
This seemingly simple adjustment introduced a new found sense of control and tranquility into my life. It created stability within instability and reminded me that happiness is in fact a state of mind. I realized that I didn't need validation from the outside world in order to be happy. I instead needed to retrain my brain to find beauty in mundane things. When we transform our reality, we put our happiness into our own hands and we set ourselves up for positive external results. We are in control of our happiness which in turn puts us in control of our life. This became a monumental realization for me. In order to be happy in what you do, you must first be happy with who you are.
Finding happiness from within continues to be a challenge for me - an ongoing, beautiful, and challenging journey. Without this difficult year, I would never have been able to understand the value and the importance of seeking inner happiness. This year has made me become a better friend, daughter, sister, and professional. I have become more patient, more introspective, and more caring. I am still in the process of implementing these practices of internal happiness into my life and will continue to do so each and every day. I am learning to embrace the frantic chaos of this world. Happiness is a process that starts from within and works its way out, so the next time you find yourself in an unhappy place, start by altering your lens, and you will find that your reality will be altered as well.
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