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27 Devastating Birmingham Problems

It's a hard knock life in Brum.

1. No one outside Birmingham can understand your accent.

2. Automated phone services especially struggle with your Brummie tones.

3. So everyone just takes the piss out of it.

4. Or worse, they do impressions of it back at you.

5. Basically, everyone is obsessed with your accent.

6. People from the South say you're northern and people from the North say you're southern.

You're from the WEST MIDLANDS, actually.

7. Nobody believes you might actually WANT to live in Birmingham.

Tom Phillips / Buzzfeed

8. Because it seems impossible to convince people from elsewhere that Birmingham's not shit.

Indymedia / Via

9. And even when you insist that you live in a nice bit, nobody believes you.

Mr W / Via

10. People automatically assume you must be thick.

Tolkien was from Birmingham, you know? You think he's so stupid?

11. And you're kind of sick of Ozzy doing nothing to dispel that myth.

Christopher Polk / Getty

12. Non-Brummies think you're into dogging if you say you enjoy a Sunday in Lickey Woods.

Flickr: basegreen / Creative Commons

It's a real, and lovely, place!

13. You never even bother mentioning that you've got a mate who lives in Lickey End.

14. Nobody seems to care when you tell them Birmingham has more canals than Venice.

Flickr: neilsingapore

But you're so proud!

15. You fear driving into town like it's an infectious disease.

Flickr: leejordan

The city centre is a one-way system vortex.

16. Whenever you tell people you're from Birmingham, they're all, "I've been to the Bullring!"

17. They also asusme you love Cadbury World and go all the time.

Flickr: mutt / Creative Commons

You've been, like, once. It was alright.

18. The German Christmas market is exciting at first...

Flickr: tim_ellis

It's the biggest one in Europe!

19. ... but then you remember that it's more crowded tourist hell than Christmas magic.

FOX / Via

Every year the same :(

20. When you want to get your mom a birthday card, everything in the shop says "mum".

21. You're sick of people thinking that anyone from the Black Country, Coventry, Solihull, and Wolverhampton is a Brummie.

It's not the same.

22. People who went to university in Birmingham are always telling you they went to Snobs.

Which just isn't that interesting.

23. You are sick of people saying Manchester is the second city.

Walt Disney / Via


24. You grew up so far from the sea that it seemed like an amazing, mystical place.

25. But if you leave Birmingham, you'll never get as consistently good, cheap curry again.

Flickr: roboppy

God bless the Balti! And yeah, we know that Tayyabs is good too.

26. And you'll never catch a non-Brummie kebab shop doing proper curry and chips either.

No, plain old chip shop curry sauce does not count.

27. But most of all, being from Birmingham makes you feel like you're in an exclusive club, because only Brummies understand how great it is.

FOX / Via

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