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60 Jobs You Can Do In Jean Shorts

Spring is almost (FINALLY) here. Now is the time to find the proper occupation to suit your sweet ass "jorts."

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Potential Jort-Friendly Employment Opportunities

1. News Anchor

2. Judge

3. Telethon phone answerer

4. Really, anything with a desk

5. Roller-skating waitress

6. Marathoner from the 1960s

7. Fix-it person

8. Hop Scotch referee

9. Town Crier

10. Rib shack bartender

11. Internet maker

12. Door-to-door jean shorts salesman

13. Construction worker from the Village People

14. Craft village employee

15. Associate Dean

16. Doll repair

17. Fence-painter

18. Head fashionista

19. Production assistant

20. Recycling center night watchman

21. Deep-stretching trainer

22. Coin-collector aficionado

23. Vegan baker

24. Drive-in movie concession stand cashier

25. Long hauler

26. Mustache whisperer

27. Dogcatcher

28. Something with smoothies

29. Manual shrub trimming

30. Rabblerouser

31. Stand-in for a pool boy character on a movie set

32. Whale psychiatrist

33. Candy person

34. All-Purpose Attendant

35. Outdoor card shark

36. Party promoter

37. Professional high-fiver

38. Grape-feeder for a Pharaoh

39. Van driver

40. Barnacle scraper

41. Shakespeare in the Park ticket line place-holder

42. Low-impact gardener

43. SAT tutor

44. Toilet tester

45. Firestarter

46. Assistant herder

47. Ice cream truck driver

48. Remote control finder

49. Donald Faison's Liaison

50. Rock band namer

51. Paralegal (At a really, really progressive firm)

52. Theme party cater waiter

53. 1920s farmhand

54. 1980s exercise class instructor

55. Eraser clapper

56. Freelance accountant

57. Soda jerk

58. Tungsten trader

59. Cutting out magazine pictures for design stores to use in photo frames

60. Notary

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