What I Got Out Of Paying For My Friends
A sorority girl explains what exactly she got out of spending four years "paying for her friends". It's not at all the kind of explanation you'd expect.
I made the decision to join a sorority (or pay for my friends – as they call it) my freshman year of college. Fast forward 6 years and here I am reflecting on (& laughing at) what I really paid for during those four years:
LEARNING TO MANAGE MY OWN FINANCES – Sororities cost a pretty penny & I didn’t join the one where everyone’s daddy’s footed the bill. Budget Management – check!
LEARNING TO FOLLOW THE RULES AND FIND SOLUTIONS – We almost got kicked off of campus because our ancestors (AKA the girls a few years ahead of us) we’re a little more wild than the Big Dogs wanted us to be. No more case races against the seniors, no more ABC parties at the frat house down the street & absolutely no more boys past 11pm in the sorority house. Unfortunately for us, we had advisers in our face 24/7 about what we were doing wrong, with constant reminders that a group of 10 or more of us in one a room was considered a party – sorry Kaylee, stand outside & we’ll long pour this beer to you from the window so that this is still “legal”. Creatively Solve Problems – check!
LEARNING TO LEAD THE WOLF-PACK – Do you think getting 80 women in one place, in one outfit and on time seems realistic? Try doing it four days in a row, in the middle of summer, with no air conditioning during Formal Recruitment as the Vice President of Membership. Motivation & Leadership – Check!
LEARNING TO TRUST OTHERS – This one time they made us do trust falls at a retreat. Gag me…Trust – check!
LEARNING TO LEAD AN ORGANIZATION – Literally nothing can be harder than being on a Chapter Management Team of around 6-7 other women all trying to agree on one thing. A role full of weekly meetings, understanding a million policies & procedures (our big dogs loved those two words), preparing presentations, keeping the wild ones in check and trying to lead a presentation or workshop for group of 80 women (when 50% of them are texting their boyfriend, ex boyfriend or someone else’s boyfriend right before your eyes – totally ignoring you). Leadership is tough. CEO qualified – check!
LEARNING WHAT “ON TIME” REALLY MEANS – They always told us everything started an hour before it actually did, because they knew we’d be late. Damnit they set me up for failure – new boss said the jobs starts at 8 (in my mind – “yes! it actually doesn’t til 9, I can totally stop for a Caramel Macchiato!”). Almost got fired on the first day. Learned real quick sorority-time no longer existed. Time Management – check!
LEARNING TO DEAL WITH HUMANS – Formal Recruitment – the long process for landing a spot on the A-List sorority’s new member list. It can be brutal. Four long days of sweating while trying to hold conversations with humans from 13 different sororities most of which you have absolutely nothing in common with. But you had to do it – because if you dropped out you were “disqualified” from a chance at joining one in the end. You learn real quick how to go from talking about someone’s pet donkeys to philanthropy initiatives to your favorite family memories to waffle flavored milkshakes and everything in between. I can now make a friend out of anyone – at least for a little bit. Ability to work with people I don’t like – check!
LEARNING HOW TO BE A ROLE – MODEL – This is where it could actually get meaningful & sappy. Because Big-Little is like what we all live for – I mean right? I’m obsessed with my “little” humans.I want nothing more than for them to be Queens of the world (when I’m done) & kill it at everything they do. I try every day to be someone they can look up to & be proud of. Role Model – check!
LEARNING TO TELL IT LIKE IT IS – I let the big dogs know their policies were wack multiple times & the girls in leadership positions know when they were being psychopaths. What kind of cult were they trying to create anyway? “You’re sisters, you’re supposed to bond” they told us. But absolutely no more than 10 of you in one room at one time with any alcoholic beverages because that is an unregistered social (AKA party – they like big words). Makes total sense. Oh also, don’t forget, if you have class or an internship (you know something that contributes to the reason you’re at that damn university in the first place) or work (so you can even afford that thousand dollar cult) you still cannot be excused from the Pumpkin Crafting evening with Delta Tau Delta and will instead receive a $45 penalty for not attending. Your rules are bullshit, my friends. Confidence in speaking my mind & standing up for what I think is right (or wrong) – check!
LEARNING ALL ABOUT INVENTORY MANAGEMENT – The sorority house had 40 rooms. 40 rooms means 40 closets to pick from (only about 15 were ever really full of anything good). But you can bet mine was – and I had every single one of my itt-bitty skin tight dresses accounted for. You borrow it – you bring it back by 11am the next day washed, dried & ready for round 2 that night (or I’d find you). Inventory Management – check!
At the end of the day, this is what I paid for when I joined a sorority.
I’d say the group of women who have become my best friends over the years ended up being pretty priceless.
So, if you’re still young & have the chance, go greek. You get a few good peeps out of it in the end but the shit you deal with, the headaches, the unforgettable memories, the tears from laughing so damn hard & the late nights all teach you something.
LITB
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