It's no secret that more and more Americans are choosing to abstain from having children. In fact, a recent report from the Pew Research Center showed that over 44% of non-parents ages 18 to 49 say it is not too likely or not at all likely that they will have children someday, which is an increase of 7% from the 37% who said the same in a 2018 survey. And it's not a huge mystery as to why more people are making this decision.
But beyond all of the practical or financial reasons as to why someone might choose to remain child-free; the bottom line is that regardless of the reasoning, this is a very valid choice that deserves just as much respect and acceptance as choosing to raise a family.
I reached out to the TikTok user whose stitched response went viral — she goes by Gvizzle — to get more information on her stance, and how she found the confidence to speak so openly and unapologetically about it. So, meet Gvizzle, a 48-year-old child-free woman who currently resides in Ontario, Canada.
Gvizzle continued, telling BuzzFeed, "I’ve had people say these same things to me for 30 years, and it’s annoying and exhausting. Seeing her, sitting in her car, presumably just having had one of those conversations, made me sad and upset, so I needed her to know that she’s not alone and she’s not wrong. When you’re the one sitting in the lunchroom at work being lectured at and questioned, it can be hard to remember that you’re not alone, that there are other people, happy, fulfilled people, who’ve made the same choice."
Clearly, this messaging resonated with many. Gvizzle's TikTok video is currently sitting at over 4 million views, with upwards of 24,000 comments. And while, of course, there are some that disagree with Gvizzle's decision to remain child-free, there were many who flooded the comments with appreciation and understanding.
When asked why she thinks her video resonated with many, Gvizzle told BuzzFeed, "I think it resonated with people who’ve been told some of those same things. I think young people are just starting to hear those things, so maybe they felt reassured by the video. Older women came out in the comments to back me up and reassure our younger sisters. We're also at a place societally where more people are making the choice to be child-free, and they're vocal about it. Videos like mine also give voice to people who can't be as vocal or who aren't comfortable being vocal yet."
As for people like Gvizzle who know they wish to remain child-free but aren't sure how to broach the subject with those in their lives, she knows it's not always easy. "It’s a heated subject — I’m not trying to convince people not to have children while they’re trying to convince me that I should." But, in case you do get asked and have no idea how to respond, she shared a little bit of advice with BuzzFeed.
And Gvizzle has a message to anyone who wishes to remain child-free. "To people who don’t want children — there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re not selfish, you’re not going to be alone, you’re not missing out because you don’t miss things you do not want, and it’s ok not to want children. It doesn’t make you less than, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation. Don’t succumb to the pressure if you’re not 100% sure, but if you do change your mind, that’s ok, too, as long as the decision was yours."
Finally, says Gvizzle, her advice to anyone and everyone regardless of their decisions around children: Stop asking people if they want children or not! "There are a lot of people who desperately want to have children but can't, so being asked that question forces them to relive that trauma. Their mental health is more important than your curiosity." Perfectly said, Gvizzle.
To keep up with Gvizzle on socials, you can find her TikTok here, and her Instagram here. She also has a podcast, which you can listen to here!