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24 Things You Wish You Could Put On Your Resumé

Why isn't quoting Harry Styles an applicable life skill? We would all be mega-employable if Facebook stalking was a job.

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7. Your parallel parking skills

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Learning to parallel park is something that most licensed drivers have accomplished. Even though you want to high-five yourself every time you do it, it's not as big of a deal as you may think. Unless you're applying to deliver pizzas, don't write about it in a cover letter.

8. All of your high school leadership positions

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Remember when your list of club involvement and leadership positions got you into your dream college? If only those carried over to the job search and remained impressive.

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11. That you would (probably) be a Gryffindor

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A Gryffindor has all the traits an employer is looking for so describing yourself as a Gryffindor seems like a good idea, right? But then again, part of you wonders if you would actually be a Hufflepuff.

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15. How quickly you can finish a season of "How I Met Your Mother"

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Unfortunately, this does not demonstrate your loyalty and dedication to a project. It just kind of makes you seem like a bum (in a good way).

17. Your ambidexterity

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Not everyone can paint both of their hands with precision. Not everyone can sign their name while holding coffee in their right hand. Not everyone can drive a stick shift AND use left-hand scissors.

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20. That you have never fist-pumped in public

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You went through the entire "Jersey Shore" era while resisting the fist-pump. Doesn't that show resiliency under pressure? Not even Emma Watson could do that.

22. Your fluency in the language of nicknames you made-up

Via rebellion.nerdfitness.com

You have a lexicon of names for people in your life and are able to keep track of them in conversation. It's just like being fluent in another language.

23. That you can order wine without embarrassing yourself

Via nbchannibal.tumblr.com

This is the true mark of an adult and an adult needs a job so by the basic laws of logic, the ability to order wine makes you ready for any job.

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