1. The genesis for this post was LeBron’s eviscerating brush-off of this poor, contrast-cuffed bro courtside.
2. LeBron’s denied dap before — he once made HIS MOM create her own dap after a ferocious dunk.
3. In the 2012 playoffs, LeBron’s teammate was the victim of this phenomenon. After extending his hand to Amar’e Stoudemire, Shane Battier is summarily denied. Worst part: he’s lying on the floor.
4. Here, David Lee does what many Knicks fans have long dreamt of doing: shaming Isiah Thomas.
5. A quick college tale: Reggie Johnson once tried to dap an official. He was denied, but saved it with a solid fingerpoint.
6. Poor JaVale McGee tried REALLY HARD to get some dap from Kenneth Faried. Faried was like, noooooooooo.
7. Now let’s consider a great denier of dap: Kobe Bryant. This one’s short and sweet — he baits Shaq into a dap, then pulls away, then slaps Caron Butler’s ass.
8. Kobe has also left Kevin Love hanging for what appears to be five hours. Kevin Love is another important figure in unrequited dap; you’ll see why soon enough.
9. And then there’s this classic, in which Kobe 1) denies Derek Fisher and Luke Walton and 2) sits on Derek Fisher. KOBE MAD.
10. Even Phil Jackson isn’t immune from Kobe’s cold shoulder. Phil tries to pretend he was just knuckling his face, but we know better.
The best part about this is the caption: “10 NBA Championships, most in NBA history.” CAN’T SAVE YOU FROM THIS, CAN IT?!?!
11. That’s not the only time Phil’s been left at the altar; David Robinson once burned him pretty bad. Watch Phil’s eyes. Look at how forlorn he is.
12. In this study of denied dap, Jose Calderon shuts down Radoslav Nesterovic, then appears to lecture him about why he shouldn’t have dapped in that scenario. Jose’s an expert.
13. Let’s move on to a strange phenonenon of dap, an aberration in dap history: when a player chooses to dap by himself. There are no dappers to dap you, Gary Neal.
14. Same with you, James Harden. Who are you looking for? They are not there.
15. Unsurprisingly, the Celtics have a proud saga of dap. President Danny Ainge is here confronted by an out-of-nowhere would-be dapper, but fortunately, he never notices the kind-of-weird dude.
16. Brian Scalabrine, king cheerleader, once got turned down on both sides, which is surprising, considering pretty much all he does is dap.
17. And even Kevin Garnett — fierce, angry Kevin Garnett — once got denied dap. Of course he saved it with a finger point — of course he did.
19. As befits a future Hall of Famer, though, Jesus Shuttlesworth has denied his fair share, including poor dinosaur Chris Bosh.
20. Now, for the conclusion: the greatest denied dap of all time. Kevin Love tries to get to Wesley Johnson. He tries so hard. But… he… just… can’t.
As far as I know, this is the only unrequited dap to have inspired a miniature documentary, in which Kevin Love calls it among the most embarrasing moments of his life.
21. It even inspired a commercial. I don’t know if we’ll ever see a denied dap reach this level of infamy ever again.
- Bomb threats were called into Jewish centers in at least 13 states today, making it the fifth wave of threats since January.
- Elon Musk announced that his SpaceX company will send two tourists around the moon by 2018 🚀🌝
- The suspect in a Kansas shooting that left an Indian man dead thought he was shooting Iranians, and the FBI is investigating as a possible hate crime.
- The trans sister of a Trump inauguration singer must be allowed to use the restroom that fits her gender ID, a judge ruled.