All-Star weekend is an ephemeral experience for one very good reason: there are no stakes. There is nothing to be gained or lost during the NBA’s Kevin Hart festival unless you place a mysterious amount of value on how well Jeremy Lin can throw bounce passes through a ring.
That is, there’s little to be gained by winning or losing anything. Rather, the way to imprint on an All-Star weekend is to do one simple thing transcendently, the kind of thing that makes me, watching from my friend’s couch with 10 other guys, get up and run around the room screaming until I’m hoarse. Kyrie Irving did that during the Rising Stars Challenge, and he did it to Brandon Knight, who is now the NBA equivalent of Richard Nixon after the JFK debate. Pity poor Brandon Knight.
3. RIP Brandon Knight, Kyrie Irving took your ankles and made pudding out of them.
Just watch this a couple more times — properly absorb the savagery. Let Irving’s crossover sink into your marrow; let his step back become a part of you; let Knight’s stumbling attempt at defense absolve you of every sin you’ve ever committed. Revel in the glory and the wonder.
5. Unmoved by my hysteria? Well, maybe Kevin Durant’s respect will warm your heart.
6. Or how about the way that Ricky Rubio actually grabs Kenneth Faried’s knee, and then both they react like they just watched Michael Corleone shoot those dudes in the restaurant.
7. And then Kyrie goes at him again, and Knight just has to foul, because, like, dude, stop, don’t do it to me again.
8. And then he does it to him again.
9. “I Am Become Death, Destroyer Of Worlds, lol.” — Kyrie Irving
10. Did I mention that, for an encore, Irving won the three-point contest with one of the highest-ever scores? It goes to show how great his crossover-surgery was in the Rising Stars Game that this seems like no big deal in comparison.
11. The fact that Kyrie Irving is only 20 is reason enough to be happy you’re alive. Rejoice.
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