What Terrible Christmas Present Are You?
You were bought by a confused grandma who wandered through the store, looking in the section of ugly gifts galore. She had to have left her glasses in the car, to not see the ugliness of you from afar.
Grandpa saw you at the market they call flea, but he couldn't understand why you were free. The sellers asked him to flee from thee, but at your sight he was too choked up with glee.
You're the coalest of the coal, Given to the naughtiest of the naughty; But Santa don't play that mess, So he put a lump of you in the children's stockings.
You're a cheap one, Mr. Grinch. How dare you even gift this! Next year spend some money, Or you're sure to lose your honey, And that won't be very funny, Mr. Grinch.
So small but not very subtle You're sure to get a reaction of a mumble. Perhaps a fist or two will fly your way, But hopefully you now know, don't gift this on Christmas Day.
You're one of the worst of all, Bought by the ones who don't dare go to the mall. They'd rather watch TV from their couch, than care about making someone a Christmas grouch. $5 were put on you for your local department store, which is sure to get you thrown on the floor.