Look, we all hate our bras, but can you imagine the kind of horrible monstrosities our foremothers had to deal with? For Ladylike, Freddie and I did more than imagine — we wanted to try out some historical bras for ourselves.
This is Freddie and I. She has smaller boobs, and I have bigger boobs, so we thought we'd try some bras from history together in order to try to ~round out~ the vintage bra experience:
First, we tried the strophion, which was a bust support worn in ancient Greece and Rome, and is essentially just a very long piece of linen toilet paper.
Here's how the ancient Greek and Roman bra* looked on Freddie and me (Freddie is a B cup, I am an F cup):
We were both on the same page when it came to this bra. It was basically impossible to figure out how to tie, and it had lots of other logistical difficulties we hadn't thought of before.
Overall, we both felt the bra had the bizarre sensation of making you feel squished yet unsupported all at once.
Next, we tried the first actual bra to be patented in the United States of America, from 1914, which naturally looks like every top that Britney Spears wore in 1999:
Here is Freddie and I wearing the 1914 bra:
We both agreed that this bra is basically just a cute top:
But we had a split opinion on this bra's overall usefulness and comfort. Fred was pro this bra, I was...not as pro.
Last, we tried the class "bullet" or "torpedo" bra (aka the Madonna cone-shaped bra) from the 1940s.
Here is Freddie and I in the 1940s bra:
We both agreed that this bra was a regular ol' bra...until you turned to the side.
Also, for both of us, the tips of these bras required more maintenance than we thought they would; they had to be continuously adjusted.
Overall, we both agree that bra technology has come a long way, even if it still has a loooooong way to go.