Hey, we all have a little bit of a weird sense of humor, right?! Here are some Twitter users who sure did make us chuckle:
1.
My ex thought I cheated cuz I smelled like a woman & I let her break up w me cuz didn't kno how to tell her I use cucumber melon body wash
2.
FUNERAL INSTRUCTIONS: * Open casket * Free bag of tortilla chips upon entrance * My dead hands hold the bowl of salsa
3.
if you're intelligent congratulations on being tortured by the unending hell of existence every minute of every day
4.
“Everybody loves us weird girls, right up until we start doing weird girl shit,” I say to my cat, as we watch a documentary about serial killers in our matching onesies.
5.
what if u cracked ur knuckles and ur fingers started to glow like glow sticks
6.
my best friend got me a bidet as a house warming present and i have to say having your asshole blasted clean is absolutely the pinnacle of luxury i’m about to start acting different
7.
My boss overheard me calling my elbows “thirsty boys” while applying lotion and I was immediately let go
8.
[walking around still disappointed 6 hours after visiting an aquarium] wife: what did you think a tiger shark was, brent
9.
*someone hands me a baby* Oh... no thank you *places baby on the ground*
10.
Do not bother trying to hook up w me if ur not wearing a long striped nightgown w a matching hat + holding a little plate w a candle on it
11.
Never order boots from Wish! I am just the messenger!!! 😩😭😭🤣
12.
Me: *tries to knock 1st kite out of tree using 2nd kite* *gets 2nd kite stuck in tree* Genie: please don't w- Me: I wish for a third kite
13.
I had a chip implanted in my body. It was a Cool Ranch Dorito.
14.
Read an article this morning on “13 ways to be happy”. 13? I need one, just one and it’s cheese.
15.
me: sorry if I'm bothering you surgeon: how do you keep waking up and saying that
16.
Hugs from behind are hot, but the guy in front of me at the ATM didn't seem to think so.
17.
Top 5 Life Moments: 5. falling in love 4. losing one’s virginity 3. wedding day 2. birth of a child 1.