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    Posted on Jun 3, 2016

    18 Things Only Moms In School Understand

    When your book bag and your diaper bag are pretty much the same thing.

    1. You look like shit because you were up at 3 a.m. with a crying baby, not a beer bong.


    2. You open your book bag for a pen and about a hundred stale Goldfish fall out.

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    And there’s a hundred more in the bottom of your purse.

    3. Your idea of losing baby weight is running across campus to make it to class on time.

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    You’re just not sure how well it’s actually working.

    4. The whole class knows when you need to pump.

    5. You get hit with homework twice. Yours and your kid's.


    And sometimes your kid's math homework is harder.

    6. Your childless professor won’t give you a break on anything, even a sick kid.

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    7. Nothing is worse than showing up to class only to find out it's been cancelled.

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    And now you get to pay a babysitter for that hour you just wasted.

    8. Every day you wonder why the school doesn’t offer designated parking spots for moms.

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    You totally deserve one.

    9. The night before a test is always the night your kid transforms into Chucky.


    Be sure to put away the knives.

    10. You’ll take any form of caffeine to stay awake during class…

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    …except for caffeine pills because we all remember what happened to Jessie Spano.

    11. Breaks between classes are spent milking yourself.

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    I salute you.

    12. You can barely read the notes for your exam because your kid scribbled all over them.

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    Sad part is, the scribbles make more sense than your notes.

    13. You go to Target to get school supplies and end up leaving with baby stuff on clearance instead.


    Oh, Target. You are evil.

    14. You seriously consider making a gofundme page.

    Baby formula: Dr. Axe - Textbooks: bensbargains / Via and

    Actually, just $44 would be good at this point.

    15. Your definition of multi-tasking is pumping and typing a paper at the same time.

    You really do deserve a pat on the back for being so productive.

    16. Other students stop telling you there’s spit up on your shirt. Now, they just expect it.


    And that's why you carry baby wipes EVERYWHERE.

    17. You attempt to read a textbook to your child as a bedtime story.

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    And your kid replaces themselves with a stuffed animal out of boredom.

    18. At the rate you’re going, you and your kid will graduate at the same time.

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    Who are you kidding? Your kid will probably graduate before you.

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